It should now be evident that the extended hiatus of this blog was due to the intense time constraints imposed in the perfection of my weather control device (pictured).I have been shifting the temperature back and forth in 40 degree increments over the past 48 hours as a show of my newly acquired power over the forces of nature.
It is time for the Chicagoland region to capitulate to my following demand:
- Allow smoking in bars, you nanny-state bastards.
If you don't revoke the smoking ban, my rein of discomfort will continue unfettered and you all will be forced to suffer through the rest of your pitiful existences with sweaters tied around your waists in order to avoid my wrath of continual climatological chaos.
All bow down before me, your new overlord:
The Liar.
