Phoneography

I just washed my phone (like a jackass). If anyone needs to contact me, please send me an e-mail.

To the fuckwad in the RAV-4 who just accelerated through the standing water by Liar's Club (thoroughly soaking me): I hope you choke to death on a syphilitic cock .

I Don't Wanna

Screen grab (click to enlarge) of CafePress trying to get me to support racism. That's racist!

D-Town, Ho!

I'll be out drinking at the Annex in D-Town tomorrow (Friday). Be sure to fortify your homes (and your wine) beforehand.

That is all.

New Favorite Thing Ever

I'm ALL about the game 'Plants -vs- Zombies' right now. I picked up the disc a couple of weeks ago and now have it installed on every computer I might ever use in the next decade or so (desktop, laptop, old PC at parents' house, The Girl's fruitputer, etc).
You should totally buy it too, so you can be cool like me:
Disc
-or-
Download

Still not convinced? Here's the trailer:

Hey, Hippie, Your Ass is Filthy

The granola and Birkenstock brigade has a new target in its beady bloodshot little sights: 'Luxury' toilet paper.
LINK
Yeah, go right ahead there, Tigger (if that is your real name), and wipe your ass with that squirrel, but you're not getting my Cottonelle unless you pry it from my cold dead hands.

You Have 127 New Messages

Really?
I just opened up my "Liar" e-mail account and found that I have a metric-but-load of new messages - all from Facebook -, which is roughly triple the amount of messages I've ever gotten at that address in it's existence.
Apparently Ms. Dena thought it would be fun to forcibly pop my social-networking cherry, so now I'm stuck in e-spreader bars, with a train of "friends" clogging up my inbox and regions beyond.

So to clear things up, The DCLies Facebook account is not me, but rather Ms. Dena pretending to be me, which is fine, because she'll probably make a better me than I would. Furthermore, I may take up the account eventually, get bored with it, and then at an indeterminate point transfer it back to Dena. We also may both take custody of the account and use our pre-nascent iParenting skills to neglect the account until it is forcibly removed from us by the online equivalent of the DCFS.
Crystal clear, right?

Fuck it; here's a picture that explains it:

Lollapaloser

I'm going to be at Loallapalooza all this weekend, and was wondering if anyone else was going to be there?

I couldn't be less excited now that the Beastie Boys canceled (way to be a total dick, cancer - ruining my weekend), but I bought the fucking 3-day pass, so I'm stuck.

Anyone?

Shaved my head [again] - First time in over a decade.
---------------------------------------------
Sent by a Cricket mobile device
---------------------------------------------

TEST
---------------------------------------------
Sent by a Cricket mobile device
---------------------------------------------

Lost My Stupid Phone

No, I'm not ignoring you.

I tied one on last night an disappeared my phone. I found out where I left it, but won't have it back until sometime tomorrow or Saturday.

Please make a note of it.

BWAAAHAHAHA!

It should now be evident that the extended hiatus of this blog was due to the intense time constraints imposed in the perfection of my weather control device (pictured).

I have been shifting the temperature back and forth in 40 degree increments over the past 48 hours as a show of my newly acquired power over the forces of nature.
It is time for the Chicagoland region to capitulate to my following demand:
- Allow smoking in bars, you nanny-state bastards.

If you don't revoke the smoking ban, my rein of discomfort will continue unfettered and you all will be forced to suffer through the rest of your pitiful existences with sweaters tied around your waists in order to avoid my wrath of continual climatological chaos.

All bow down before me, your new overlord:
The Liar.

This is Only a Test

Is anyone still out there, or have I killed this bitch dead?

Ron Ashton - 1948-2009

One of the all-time great guitarists, Ron Asheton, was found dead today in his Ann Arbor home. He (along with Fred "Sonic Smith" of MC5 --also dead--) created the signature "punk guitar sound" back in the 1960's. There wasn't another living guitarist that had as significant of an impact on the modern music scene as Ashton.
I was lucky enough to catch him play a couple of shows out on the east coast - One with J. Mascis & Mike Watt, and one of the Stooges reunion shows. Both were amazing.
He'll be missed.