Does This Mean That the Smoking Banis Null & Void?

I know at one time or another we've all considered withholding funding from a Children's Hospital for bribe money, but the Blagoff is the only person (outside of a Dickens novel) to have the huevos to actually do so.
Kudos to you, Rod. You are truly a scum-fuck amongst scum-fucks.

Now do the honorable thing, and take a dive in front of a Brown Line train before you embarrass yourself even further.

Before I Shut the Fuck Up

First I'd like to definitively answer the Old Dog's query, and categorically state that the reason that I've stopped blogging is that I haven't dug myself into any alcohol-induced holes as of late (ladies). Well, until now.

I'm sorry if I've riled some of you up with my blunt assessment of Our Dear and Benevolent Leader (elect). There's a superb conversation thread in the comment field of the post below (if you haven't checked it out yet).

I just want to reiterate that:
A) I'm just getting it out there now, so I can gloat later if I happen to be correct in my assessment.
B) I hope that I'm wrong-as-hell in my aforementioned assessment.
C) I wish nothing but the best for Our Dear and Benevolent Leader (elect) and his minions.

All I know is that I've watched enough History Channel to know that when there's a charismatic cult-of-personality figure standing before countless masses that are chanting in unison and making obscure hand gestures, that the guy behind the podium is both lying out of his ass and up to no good.

Plus, It's never a good sign when our (already depleted) financial markets break through the floor in the days following an election.
I just can't picture the world's financial mavens saying: "Huzzah! Our guy won. This is the end of the tumultuous period that has plagued us mercilessly and stripped our houses bare. A new day is dawning, and we are now at the precipice of a great new era of bounty and prosperity".
--slight pause--
"SELL! SELL! SELL!"

Okay, I lapsed back into "sarcastic prick" mode there for a second, but I'm getting it all out now, because I promise to play nice and not say anything mean about Our Dear and Benevolent Leader (elect) unless he starts to pull some shit like he did back in his state Senate days (on July 2nd, 1998 - to be precise) when he advocated banning the sale or transfer of ALL forms of semi-automatic weapons.
For those not in the know, almost every single gun manufactured in the world today falls under the "semi-automatic" classification. Shotguns are semi-auto, Pistols are semi-auto, revolvers are semi-auto, most rifles are semi-auto. If this ban were to pass, the only guns that wouldn't fall under this classification would be antiquated break-action single-shot guns, breech loaders, muzzle loaders, bolt-action guns, and fully automatic weapons (which are already way-illegal).

You wouldn't give a wet shit, you say?

Well here's a thought experiment:
Let's suppose the the Bush Administration somehow finagled legislation through Congress that mandated that the right of free-speech guaranteed to us by the first amendment didn't apply to any form of communication that was invented subsequent to 1885 (the year the semi-automatic process was patented).
I wouldn't put it past 'em.
That means the first amendment wouldn't apply to anything produced with and/or utilizing the following technologies: Linotype typesetting, any Recorded Media (subsequent to rotating cylinder), personal Telephone, Offset press, Screen-printing, Film, Photocopier, Television, Telex, Computer, Cellular technology, the Internet, or (essentially) anything that uses any form of electricity in it's use and/or production process.

Would that be okay with you?

Let me tell you; I'd be unholy pissed. That would be a great time to have a stockpile of modern firearms, because it's damn near impossible to overthrow a totalitarian government with rubber hippie daisies and clever slogans.

Apples and oranges, you say?

Those are the 1st and 2nd rights bestowed upon us by the founding fathers.

The second amendment is misinterpreted, you say?

Talk to the Supreme Court - Their number is: (202) 479-3011.
Good luck with that. If you could, like, change their mind, you totally would, like, be on television or something.

All I'm saying is that once you start fucking around with the Constitution, you set a precedent for every single nut-job to strip away any right that they don't deem necessary.

That's not a good thing.

Okay, got carried away there again for a second.
I'm back on the nice now. I promise not to say anything more on the subject, unless Our Dear and Benevolent Leader (elect) does something that gets me going, or one of you unwashed heathens keeps me riled-up on this....

... although, I do have some personal thoughts and experiences I'd like to share with you on his appointed Chief of Staff....

...Wait for it.

Change Comes from Within

Eight years ago I told everyone that would listen that George W. Bush was a no-good son-of-a-bitch pseudo-politician, and that his election would be the bane of the Republican party for decades.

Chalk one up for the Liar.

I'd like to take this opportunity to publicly state that Barrack Obama is a no-good son-of-a-bitch pseudo-politician, and that his administration will be a huge embarrassment for the Democratic party.

It is my sincerest hope that sometime in my lifetime we can elect one single United States President based on merit rather than manufactured populist appeal.

I can dream, can't I?

An Open Letter to Senator Hillary Clinton

Senator Clinton,

Please refrain from using any further "Rocky" comparisons. You are not a half-retarded Philly street fighter. Plus, if you had bothered to watch the film, you'd know that at the end of the film Rocky loses in a split-decision to the charismatic, media obsessed, black man. Seriously.
That kind simplistic comparison may fly in Pennsylvania where the populous is too busy booing at professional sporting events to even bother to remember the names of their children, but the rest of the nation is giggling behind your back. It really is some funny shit.
If you feel some driving need to compare yourself to a specific character portrayed by Sylvester Stalone (who, by the way, has already endorsed McCain), I'd recommend Marion Cobretti, Lincoln Hawk, or Judge Dread.

Yours in Christ,
The Liar

John McWho?

Did anyone have any idea that John McCain was in Sugar Grove (IL) tonight for an Oberweis fund-raiser?
Well he was.
I had no idea until I got the invite about a half-hour beforehand. I still haven't seen anything in the media. I'm just amazed that the (default) Republican nominee could head into Illinois and no one seems to care or notice.

Huh.

Voting For Winners Is For Losers

Part of my timing in going back to DC when I did was so that I could vote in the Maryland primary today. It didn't help that less than 12 hours after I landed at BWI my preferred candidate dropped out of the race.
The golden lining: I got to vote with my heart rather than my brain.
I'm officially a proud Ron Paul voter. Granted, he's a total nut-job, but he's my kind of total nut-job. I fucking love the nut-jobs. Keep in mind that I'm possibly the only registered Republican who voted for Ralph Nader in 2000 and 2004 - both times out of spite.
Back in 2000 I was crushed that we got Bush II instead of Powell or McCain, and I sure as shit wasn't gonna cast a vote that would make PMRC Tipper the first lady.
In 2004 I was fed-up with G-Dub and appalled at the ineptitude of the Kerry campaign. I voted for Ralph just to egg him on.

This year I really liked Romney. I felt that he alone had the wherewithal to clean up the huge fucking mess that Georgie the second has left this nation in. I wasn't thrilled at his pandering to the right-wing (not that it did him a bit of good), but was convinced that he'd go back into Massachusetts Governor mode just in time for the general election.
Rev. God-boy Huckster blew that all to hell - Just like those twisters blew the hell out of the Super-Tuesday states he carried.
Holy shit; God is a Mormon - Who knew?

Anyway... I sorta like McCain, but I think that he's the wrong guy at the wrong time for the nation. I have a load of respect for Hillary, but I'm not excited by any means. And don't even get me started on Obama unless you get a six-pack in me and sign a release-waiver.
I hear that Nader's planning on running again this year - He just might get my "fuck you" vote for the 3rd presidential election in a row.

That should be good for a laugh.

The Truth

Today Salon.com posted an EXCELLENT interview with Camille Paglia. I've always liked her writings, and have always found her very insightful, but it's been awhile since I've read anything that has been so dead-on. She nails the Foley scandal, the war in Iraq, and the current direction of the Democratic party. It really is incredible, check it out if you can.
...

Update: To read the full article without a Slate subscription click the link and watch a 10 second add for full access. It's totally worth it.