Monday, March 10, 2008

Setting the Bar Higher

Joey Rats & the Vatican City Rollers have just revised the cardinal sins... and just as I had mastered all of the old ones. Ain't that always the way.

Here are the new seven:
Polluting
Genetic Engineering
Being Obscenely Rich
Drug Dealing
Abortion
Pedophilia
Causing Social Injustice

I'm appalled. It used to be that the capital vices were within the reach of everyone - Hell, you could whip through all seven between your 3rd and 9th Jager Bomb shots on any given night. Now most of the cardinal sins are only within the reach of Robb Report subscribers. Seriously, How is the average person supposed to get tanked on tequila shooters and wake up the next morning only to realize that they had inadvertently engineered a totalitarian army of human/chinchilla chimeras in their stupor? It just isn't fair.
I'm going to need a serious influx of cash to actualize a few of these sins. I'd better get cracking on "The Liar's Cocaine and Abortion Emporium" if I want to even sniff #3.

The only bright spot? The potential David Fincher film for the revised SE7EN should be freaking awesome.

1 comment:

Chris B. said...

Is that real? I wouldn't guess they'd turn on their own like that.