Saturday, September 29, 2007

NFL Week 4 Picks

This week my NFL picks are getting an Upgrayedd (with an extra ‘d’ for a double-dose of pimpin’) - I’m including the team records and my pick history/season record. Look for me to suck from here-on-out since I had the gaul to post my record – I’m like the Mets on that front.
If one week I happen to pick a perfect slate I’ll include the betting line picks thereafter (as soon as I recover from my fainting spell and ensuing head injury).
This week I’m betting heavily against the home teams and frequently picking against conventional-wisdom, so I’m sure that I’ll get boned this week. That'll learn me.

Last week's picks: 11-5
Season record: 31-17

Bears (1-2) over Lions (2-1)
Roy Williams needs to shut his fat fucking yap - the Bears will do it for him. The Lions have an over-inflated confidence in their team and a (Rex induced) low view of the Bears. Grossman isn’t our quaterback, and I can’t see Detroit winning without his obligatory 3 turnovers per game. Our D is banged-up, but our second-string is better than a lot of starting defenses.
I’ve got a full-raging hard-on for the Bears again now that they’ve dropped the chump (I really, really, really tried to phrase that in a way that didn’t sound totally gay, and failed miserably). Griesse isn’t our John Elway or Dan Marino (the 2 QBs he followed-up in Denver and Miami, respectively), but he’s better than the less-than-nothing that we had there last week. I only wish that I had gotten this game in my market or had the patience for sitting through a game in a fucking sports-bar. I have neither.
Bonus bet: After this game, put Kitna on the DL.
BEARS!!!

Postgame: FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK... Bernard Berrian... FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK... a record 34 points allowed in the 4th quarter.. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!

Texans (2-1) over Falcons (0-3)
Awkward! The red-hot Texans waltz into Atlanta with the Falcons' old back-up QB (Matt Schuab). Hey Atlanta! How's Joey Harrington working out for you? This is my schadenfreude lock of the week.

Jets (1-2) over Bills (0-3)
The Jets might not be very good this year, but Buffallo stinks on ice. If things keep up at this pace for the Bison Williams, they'll have to attach a hospital wing onto Ralph Wilson Stadium

Ravens (2-1) over Browns (1-2)
This game is gonna be the football equivalent of a hardened criminal mugging a retarded kid. The analogy isn’t straying too far from reality on this one.

Postgame: What I failed to take into account is that when the mentally-disabled feel threatened, they get that super-retard-strength.

Cowboys (3-0) over Rams (0-3)
Those Bovineguys are getting cocky, and are vulnerable to an upset from a desperate team. That being said, the Rams don’t have the huevos to do anything that bold.

Raiders (1-2) over Dolphins (0-3)
Hey, Joey Porter; Guarantees are cheap theater stunts, anyone can make 'em and they don't mean a damned thing. I personally guarantee that the Fish aren't gonna see the postseason this year or next year or... - See how easy that was? The Raiders are gonna pull the upset in this one, thereby stunning all 28 fans who bothered to show up for this turd-fest.

Packers (3-0) over Vikings (1-2)
I have the feeling that the Pack is walking into a trap this week. The Vikes might be squirrelly, but nothing would make ‘em happier than up-ending their nemesis and breaking their winning streak - NFC North entropy ensues. That being said, I’m copping-out and picking the Packers.

Bucs (2-1) over Panthers (2-1)
This is gonna be a great game. I would pick Carolina, but the word is that Dehlome won’t start and the Kittys will have to rely on the masterful skills of David Carr (that worked so well for Houston all those years). I really like what Garcia is doing for Tampa and am picking them to triumph without a second thought.

Seahawks (2-1) over 49ers (2-1)
Who will win this one? Hold on... {shaking magic 8 ball}. What the fuck do you mean "Reply hazy, try again"? Stupid piece of junk. Let's just say the Seahawks win this one and move on.

Steelers (3-0) over Cardinals (1-2)
The Cards new coach (Wisenhutt) comes fresh from the Pittsburgh coaching staff, so this one's not a "gimme" by any stretch. I still think that the Steelers have what it takes to pull this one off.

Postgame: The Cardinals are who I thought they were! They were who I thought they were, and I let a huge upset-pick off of the hook!

Colts (3-0) over Broncos (2-1)
Everyone is calling this one the “Game of the Week”. Only if you like fireworks. It's more of the "junkfood" game of the week - It's gonna be tasty, but full of empty calories.

Chargers (1-2) over Chiefs (1-2)
Nothing would make me happier than another embarrassing Chargers loss – Shut their loud mouths for good like the (now contrite) Floodtown ‘aints. Unfortunately for me, they’re playing the lower gastrointestinal tract of the NFL.

Postgame: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! I was laughing so hard, I think I peed myself a little on this one. Shottenheimer for Norv Turner? Oh, Holy shit - I can't breathe... It feels so good to be wrong, now (hopefully) they'll shut the fuck up.

Giants (1-2) over Eagles (1-2)
Both teams are playing for their lives. I really want to go with Philly on this one, but after seeing NY’s resurgent defense in their (unexpected) win over my Skins I'm not so sure. Speaking of defense, the Giants’ defensive coordinator, Steve Spagnuolo, just spent the last 8 years on Philly’s payroll – Talk about stealing signals… I’m picking Coughlin’s pituitary anomalies in this one.

Postgame: This fucking pick saved me from a losing Sunday (7 wins & 6 losses) - whew.

Patriots (3-0) over Bengals (1-2)
…and in other earth-shattering news: Cows go “Moo”.

* Wrong Picks in RED.
** Correct Picks in GREEN.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Riot Cubs

The motherfucking Cubbies are goin' to the motherfucking postseason, motherfuckers!
I'm kinda excited about this one. That's why I'm awarding the very first "L&E Walrus of Approval" to the 2007 Chicago Cubs.
You've earned it, boys.

L and E Means Quality

If anyone has the great misfortune of knowing me in meatspace, then you'll know that I have crazy iron-clad loyalties to just about anything that can be purchased and very stringent guidelines on how to do everyday tasks. Hell, get enough drinks in me and I'll argue the merits of different brands of toilet tissue until I'm out of breath and on the verge of settling the argument with pistols at dawn.

I've decided that the world needs my infinite consumerist wisdom, so I proudly present the Lies & Exaggerations Walrus of Approval:
You: Shouldn't it be a "Seal of Approval"?
No!
Why?
Because seals are gay. C'mon, all they do is balance balls on their nose, eat raw fish, and blow on rows of horns all day. Sounds pretty fucking gay to me.
I think you're missing the point.
Fucking seal coddlers... Walruses are long-toothed, fat-assed, ass-kicking bastions of glory. You and Good-fucking-Housekeeping can keep your sissy-pantsed seals.
I can't believe that I'm still reading this crap, I'm going over to BoingBoing to look at the photo of the two-headed turtle again.
Good riddance... No, wait! Be sure to keep an eye out for forthcoming posts featuring products I deem "walrus worthy".
Whatever.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Too Drunk To Smoke

Last night I went out to the Turbonegro/Mondo Generator show at Black Cat, here in DC. Great fucking show - I told y'all to catch this tour in Chicago back on the 19th, for your sake, I hope you went.

The show was good, but I was a wreck - That fucking smoking ban is gonna kill me. Literally. Here's the deal; You have to smoke outside, but you can't bring any drinks outside, so before you can go out for a smoke you have to slam your beer. I spent the whole night slamming beers. Everything gets kinda blurry after 10PM.

Here's what I sorta remember: Bands rock; almost get into fight with another drunk fuck; decide to take quick nap on sacks of wood chips at the garden supply shop around the corner; more drinkin'; Wake up in my underwear in front of my computer waiting for the new Woot to come up; give up - go to bed.

Stupid smoking ban.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Calling All Geeks...

I'm about ready to switch my primary PC (desktop) over to a Linux operating system (Ubuntu or Debian).
Is there anything I need to know before pulling the trigger?
How will my saved Windows artifacts translate on the new OS?
I have a bunch of MS Word docs, a shitload of WMA music files (59,908 to be exact), and a collection of other crap I've accumulated via the MS OS.
Plus, how will my other software (specifically, Adobe CS3/Premiere programs) work with this new format?

If I'm about ready to shoot myself in the foot, please let me know ASAP.
Thanks.

Note: In case of a worst-case scenario, I do have a back-up EHD and a laptop that I'm keeping on the Windows OS.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Rexional Dysfunction

Grossman, you're cut!

Wrecks just joined Steve Bartman, the 1919 White Sox, and Billy Sianis among Chicago's most hated sports-related figures - with very good reason.
The Cowpokes' undrafted QB (from EIEIU) floated like a butterfly and stung like an upturned hornet nest (yes, I'm mixing sports metaphors and drinks). Our 1st round "savior" moved like continental drift and the only "sting" Rex dolled out was the minor-aneurysm I experienced after his 3rd pick of the evening - It was a fucking embarrassment.If I see that dirty twat on the street, I'm going to town on Mr. Cousin-Fucking-Idjit with a Deer-E-Ere and a big bag of rock-salt.
I'm one of his more lenient critics. The guy is poison to Chicago sports fandom - I said the same thing right after the Superbowl, but now everyone else seems to be on the same page.
Grossie has all of the staying power in Chicago as an Evanston junior-high chess-club member has in Abu Ghraib.

What now? Well, we signed a 5 year contract with Griesse for such an occasion - That's a quick-fix. I say we go after an experienced QB -- I still favor Jake Plummer -- to mentor Orton, and (eventually) a new rookie QB that someday will be our next Larry Rakestraw... um...
We're screwed.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

NFL Week 3 Picks

Jets over Dolphins
Someone's gotta win this one. I like NY to get their first win on home-turf.

Lions over Eagles*
The Beagles really need to win this one to keep their (normally tolerant) fanbase from storming the "Linc" with torches and pitchforks. I'm helpin' 'em here - I've gotten burned betting against Detriot the last 2 weeks. Now that I've picked the Lions, you can pencil Philly in for the win.
Postgame: Told you. My theory is that the butt-ugly Philly throwback uniforms blinded Detroit (and they played like it).

Steelers over 49ers
The first 2 & 0 / 2 & 0 match-up on the board. Not all undefeateds are created equal - I like the Steelers at home.

Patriots over Bills
New England. Period. End. Until I see some reason to doubt the Pats, I'm not gonna dare pick against 'em.

Buccaneers over Rams
I'm done with the Rams. Both weeks I've picked 'em and they've screwed me. Garcia should pull this one out at home.

Ravens over Cardinals
The battle of the birds. I'm hoping that Boller starts at QB this week in Baltimore, but I think that in this match-up of D's you've gotta go with the proven team.
Postgame: I can't believe that the Cards pulled Leinert for Warner (and that the old man almost pulled the upset). Someone should tell Lovie that it's okay to pull bad quarterbacks to give the team a chance to win.

Colts over Texans
Houston looks really good this season - Indy is really good. Big difference.

Chargers over Packers
The Pack is back (fuck!). Norv Turner is a joke (trust me, I had to suffer through his tenure following Schottenheimer out here in DC - Look for SD to follow the pattern and bring in Steve Spurrier after a couple of seasons). I'm just hoping that San Diego is much better than they look right now - This is their test of mettle. If Green Bay wins this one, I'll be even more pissed at Grossie (for week 1).
Postgame: The Pack is good, and the Chargers are screwed under Norv. I'm really fucking embarrassed that the Bears couldn't beat this turd in Week 1.

Vikings over Chiefs
I really think that KC is the worst team in the NFL right now. I gotta go with the Norsemen.
Postgame: On a plus-note, The Bears aren't alone at the bottom of the NFC North Rankings.

Raiders over Browns
Toss a coin on this one. I don't think that Oakland's defense will allow another 50+ point game for the Cleveland Steamers. I'm just not sure if the Raiders offense is good enough to win. I'm (begrudgingly) going with the home-team.

Broncos over Jaguars
2 good teams - another coin-toss. I'm going with the home-team (again).

Seahawks over Bengals
Once Cincinnati gets a defense, give me a call. Holmgren really needs to justify his salary at home. I'm pickin' Seattle.

Redskins over Giants
Set this one in stone. Crybaby Eli is gonna be struggling against the Skins' pass-defense. Speaking of defense, NY doesn't have one. This game is going to be the toughest nail for Coughlin to push out of his coffin.
Postgame: The Giants picked one hell of a day to have their defense take the field. Knock out two coffin nails for Coughlin.

Panthers over Falcons
The only real question with this one is whether (Atlanta QB) Harrington will stay in the game for all 4 quarters.

Cowboys over Bears
Here's my "Fuck Rex" pick of the week. Grossman's career is potentially riding on this one game, and he's proven time and time again that he's worse than horrible under pressure. If the Mental Midget stays in this one all the way through, he'll get the Dallas game ball. On the plus side, if Grossie goes "bye-bye" I'll have infinitely more faith in a successful post-season.
Postgame: I really, really, really wish that I had been wrong on this one - I wasn't. And to all of the Grossman apologists out there; 1 decent scoring possession does NOT overcome 3 interceptions. Bench him if you want to glimpse the postseason.

Titans over Saints
I'm really tempted to pick the Saints to win in their home opener, but the momentum of these two teams (Titans up, Saints down) is too strong to ignore.

*Wrong picks in RED.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Welcome To The Apocalypse Vol. 236

A Hartlepool man shouted "this is YouTube material" as he urinated upon a dying woman.
He tried to rouse her by throwing a bucket of water over her, before urinating on her and covering her with shaving foam.

Classy.

LINK

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Second Chance

The first batch of the new Fall 2007 WILTs just went out.
There's about 20 left - If anyone wants one, let me know.

Monday, September 17, 2007

NFL Week 2 Wrap-Up

I went 10 & 6 with my picks this week - Better than last week, better than most of the analysts, not bad.

I just can't get over the fact that the Lions, Packers, Texans, and 49ers are 2 & 0 while the Saints, Rams, Eagles, and Jets are 0 & 2. That's football, I guess.

Who the fuck would have thought that the fucking Browns could put up 51 points with a back-up QB? Nobody, that's who.

I totally missed the boat on Garcia in Tampa, and the team in the Motor City. My bad.

Grossman should be ashamed for his pitiful performance against the worst team in the NFL right now. If he tries that shit against Dallas next Sunday night, they're gonna get creamed.

Either New England is absolutely awesome or San Diego is totally overrated. I'm not quite sure.

Skins are looking great (2 & 0) with Jason Campbell at QB, their switch running backs, and a solid D.

Despite my earlier inference, Crocs are still inappropriate footwear for anyone over the age of 12.

That's it until my Week 3 picks next Saturday.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

NFL Week 2 Picks

St. Louis over San Francisco*
Does anyone care about this one? No? Let's move on.

Green Bay over NY Giants
Without lil' Manning (or anything resembling a defense) the Giants are gonna fall to 0 & 2.

Pittsburgh over Buffalo
Buffalo is going to be playing with plenty of emotion after the Everett loss. Emotion doesn't win football games.

New Orleans over Tampa Bay
I have a feeling that by the end of the season the Bucs will have had more quarterbacks than wins.

Carolina over Houston
The Texans look like they have a decent team this year. That being said, this one belongs to the Panthers.

Jacksonville over Atlanta
The new Atlanta quarterback reminds me of that horrible QB that used to play for the Lions and Dolphins. What was his name?

Cincinnati over Cleveland
The battle for Ohio. The loser has to keep it.

Indianapolis over Tennessee
The Titans' wonder-tard QB is lookin' good, but not that good.

Seattle over Arizona
Seahawks = Good. Cardinals = Bad. Any questions?

Minnesota over Detroit
A bunch of people are picking Detroit to win at home. A bunch of people also think Crocs are appropriate footwear for a grown adult. That don't make 'em right.

Dallas over Miami
I genuinely like Tony Romo. This bothers me because I fucking hate (and have always fucking hated) the Cowboys.

Baltimore over New York Jets
The Bengals rattled up the Baltimore hornets nest last week. I feel sorry for those poor sons of bitches in NY.

Chicago over Kansas City
Good Rex needs to show up for this one. If he can break out the razzle-dazzle against the hapless Chiefs it might keep the lynch-mob at bay for a (short) while.

Denver over Oakland
And in other news, I'm picking Wladimir Klitschko over Drinky Joe in a street-fight.

New England over San Diego
The cheaters need to win this one. If they lose here, the floodgates will open and wash all of the scum off of the face of bean-town.

Washington over Philadelphia
Picking with my heart over my head on this one. I just can't see the Beagles losing to the Packers and winning over the Skins.

*Wrong answers in RED.

Friday, September 14, 2007

What I'm Drinkin'

Genuine Absinthe I'm a huge fan of the thujone, and luckily I have a steady stream of friends and family traveling through Europe that are kind enough to keep me in the good stuff. I'm planning an Absinthe video post soon - keep a look-out for it.

Chartreuse & Tonic
It might sound like a girly-drink, but this is a serious cocktail.
Don't believe me? Just grab a Ouija board and ask Hunter S. Thompson - This was one of his favorites (and he seemed like a pretty "together" guy).

Thai Red Bull & Mongolian Vodka
I use the original Krating Daeng energy drink (which was later tamed for western pallets and re-named 'Red Bull') along with Chinggis vodka and a slice of ginger for this dangerous libation. Thai Red Bull is essentially Red Bull syrup, and the Mongolian vodka kicks in with the ginger for a unique eastern western style cocktail.
I alternately call this mix "Celestial RB&V" and "Liquid Crime".

Knob Creek Old Fashioneds
The name says it all. One of the best drinks from the get-go with a spicy bourbon upgrade.
The reason that the cherry is green in this picture is that I bought green maraschino cherries (for some unknown point-of-purchase reason).

New Glarus 'Totally Naked' Lager
My new favorite summer beer.
---

The Present Future of Music

I was intrigued by an article that ChrisB linked to yesterday regarding Trent Reznor and downloading. I'll get back to Reznor later in this post, but it made me think of some of the interesting means that artists are using to sell media in the iTunes era.

BEN WEASEL
The new Ben Weasel album These Ones Are Bitter is available by download only. Go over to the Weasel Blog, and there's a bunch of posts explaining his motivations for this.
I have never (and probably will never) purchase a song from iTunes. I refuse. I won't even install the software - Not a chance.
I had to butter up The Girl to download this for me to her account and then burn me a CD format copy of the album, which I then burned into MP3 format for my computer. I wish that Mr. Weasel would have just cut out the middle man and made the album available as a CD download directly (or better yet, done a limited-run 'hard copy' release). Where he gets huge points is that he made available printable CD artwork (including liner notes) available on his site. Here's what the disc looks like once assembled:My photos are out-of-focus, but you get the point. The artwork looks just as good as any store-bought disc.
Oh, and the album is really fucking good.

NINE INCH NAILS
My interest having been piqued by Mr.Chris, I clicked on another Boing Boing link to an Australian interview with Trent Reznor. His observations on the current state of major-label recording labels is dead-on, and his vision of how to distribute the work is flawless.
Reznor: "I've have one record left that I owe a major label, then I will never be seen in a situation like this again. If I could do what I want right now, I would put out my next album, you could download it from my site at as high a bit-rate as you want, pay $4 through PayPal. Come see the show and buy a T-shirt if you like it. I would put out a nicely packaged merchandise piece, if you want to own a physical thing. And it would come out the day that it's done in the studio, not this "Let's wait three months" bullshit."
He fucking nailed it. Sorry.
I used to be a pretty big NIN fan back in the mid-90's, I grew up in the whole 'Chicago/Wax Trax Industrial revolution' of the late 80's and early 90's and it was good to see an industrial band selling out arenas. After awhile, I just lost interest - Simple as that. Still, I always respected NIN for completely re-inventing their sound with each consecutive album. It took guts.
Recently, I've been picking up some of the newer stuff that has been remastered in 5.1 surround sound. I think that it's great that some artists are releasing high-def surround-sound recordings in the iPod age. They're totally worth it.
In the interview Reznor seems pissed that the new album isn't selling as well as he had hoped. For the record, I'll buy a copy as soon as a 5.1 surround version is released.

EXTRAS
I'm a huge fan of "free" shit. I can't tell you how many turkeys I've bought back in the day just because they came packaged with some free tchotsky (usually a t-shirt). Me in 1991: "Great, Mindfunk sucks and now I have a CD and a t-shirt from a suck-ass band. Way to go, super-consumer."
Now the rule of thumb is that if there's a band that I like, and it comes with bonus shit pick it up ASAP. Here's a list of some recent albums I picked up with notable extras:
Shellac - Excellent Itallian Greyhound LP - CD included in packaging (so that you can rip the album without burning directly from vinyl). Nice.
Against Me - New Wave - DVD from a recent live show included in the 'deluxe edition' for a few dollars more.
Tim Armstrong - A Poet's Life - I'm not the biggest Rancid fan, but I figured that $10 for a CD and DVD with videos for all the songs on the album was too good to pass up.
McLusky - Mcluskyism - The first-pressing of this greatest-hits comp came out with two (2!) bonus discs of unreleased material. I picked this up last year, and a lot of the tracks were crap, but damn...

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Craft Break

Lately I've been really into putting together Ready Mech paper art projects for The Girl. She loves 'em and I enjoy doing pointless mini-projects, so everybody wins.
I saw a link to the Ready Mech site on Boing Boing a couple of months back, and decided to give it a try. Now I'm hooked.
If you're looking to pimp-out your cubicle, and enjoy meaningless repetitive tasks, you can't lose. The site is totally free - All you need is some thick (card-stock) paper, a color printer, an x-acto knife, and some tape.
Get to cutting.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

N. F. Hell

I've been too busy with the Fall WILT -- BTW: There's a new WILT post 2 down -- to do a post on the start of the 2007 NFL season. Here are some random thoughts on that:

Bears:
The Chi-Town boys are still holding fast in the rankings (between 5th and 10th) after a loss, but bruising D can't be expected to win games - especially if we keep racking up injuries. If Lovie is gonna stick with Grossman, he's gotta start making things happen. After this season, his contract is up and I just don't see the justification for an extension. Prove me wrong, Rex.
Plus did anyone else catch THIS, talk about insult to injury.
Going forward, the Bears have to win against Dallas in week 3 to be taken seriously, and further along they need to be able to win decisively against the Beagles in Philly in week 7. The biggest test for the Bears comes in November with the prime-time Sunday night game against the Seahawks in Seattle followed the next week by Denver at home. I have faith.
My prediction for the season record is 12 wins / 4 losses with home-field throughout.

Skins:
At least one of my teams walked away with an opening day win. Overtime at home against the Fish really doesn't inspire much confidence, though. Well, at least I got to see Miami lose - That's always good.
If Philly and the Giants keep playing like they did in week one, the Skins might actually have a chance at a wild-card slot this year. It's a brutal division; last year DC was the only team from the NFC East that didn't make it to the playoffs

Pats:
Congrats, Bill. Way to ruin all the good will that you've accumulated by taking a joke team and turning them into a dynasty. Now the Pats are the NFL equivalent of Barry Bonds swinging for the fences with Sammy's corked bat. In one stupid move, you've given every nay-sayer a perfectly legitimate reason to question every NE win under your tenure (including those 3 Superbowls). Chump.

AFC -vs- NFC:
It always pisses me off when some fuck-wit goes off on how far superior the AFC is to the NFC. After week one, I've gotta bite my tongue because it wasn't pretty for the NFC. If the Bears manage to find their offense, I might have some ammo for that firefight, but for now, I'm just popping off caps.

ESPN's Monday Night Football:
Thank you for dumping Theisman. Both games had great commentary. Kornheiser and Jaws did a great job in the early game and the 3 Mikes (and beer) somehow managed to make the Cards at 49ers watchable throughout.

Gambling/Fantasy:
I know just enough about football to lose a shit-load of money. I've been doing pretty good with my picks so far, but I'm glad I never wager on the games - I'm sure that my hubris would fucking kill me.
Oh, and am I the only football guy that isn't in some Fantasy league? To me that just seem like gambling for weenies, or (more accurately) turning professional sports into a huge game of Dungeons and Dragons. I just don't get it.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Happy September 11th!

My super-special Patriot Day wish is that the last six years were a big fucking joke.
I rely on DC public transit, and I'm not laughing... No whammies.

I still rue the fact that General Colin Powell refused to run in 2000 (due to his wife's assassination fears). I can't help but think that the world would be a much better place if the last great democratic super-power wasn't run by a Faulknerian man-child.

Sleep tight.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

NFL Week 1 Picks

Eagles over Packers
Texans over Chiefs
Broncos over Bills
Steelers over Browns
Rams over Panthers
Falcons over Vikings
Patriots over Jets
Redskins over Dolphins
Titans over Jaguars
Bears over Chargers
Seahawks over Buccaneers
Raiders over Lions
Cowboys over Giants
Ravens over Bengals
49ers over Cardinals

Thursday, September 06, 2007

What I'm Listening To - Fall 2007

I started this post back on Thursday - It's Monday (the 10th) now. I spent the weekend shopping for a new printer due to the fact that my old one shit the bed while I was printing out the artwork for this new WILT. Fucking printers.

For the first WILT of the third series I've decided to move the releases up by one month. Here's the new WILT release schedule: Fall = early September, Winter = early December,
Spring = early March, Summer = early June.

I know that excuses and schedules are fucking hot reading, but this one really doesn't need much "rah-rah". It's really fucking good. A lot of old stuff, a lot of new stuff, and substantially more full-throttle rock than the last few. It goes a little somethin' like this:Liner Notes:
1) Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros - Johnny Appleseed
from the 2001 album Global A Go-Go
This track really doesn't go with the tone of the rest of this WILT, but I had to put it somewhere as a tribute to the (now canceled) John From Cincinnati. I fucking loved that show - This is the song from the opening credits. The only place it would fit was at the top of the order. It's a pretty damned good lead-off.
2) Mondo Generator - Meth, I Hear You Callin'
from the 2003 album A Drug Problem That Never Existed
Great noise track from Nick Oliveri's post Kyuss/Q.O.T.S.A. project.
3) The Dwarves - Massacre
from the 2004 album The Dwarves Must Die
The Dwarves doing a white-boy rap-battle hip-hop throw-down track. Somehow, it works. P-Dawg and Old Dog take note - This is how it's done, motherfuckers.
4) The Beltones - Fuck You Anyway
from the 1999 album On Deaf Ears
Great track from an out-of-print record. I have really liked these guys since their EP days, but no one else seems to have taken much notice. Their loss.
5) The Bouncing Souls - Letter From Iraq
from the 2006 album The Gold Record
Read the lyrics. They were written for the Bouncing Souls by a Iraq war vet (either a fan or a friend). This song gives me goose-bumps every time I hear it, and I'm a jaded fuck.
6) Bad Religion - All Good Soldiers
from the 1993 album Recipe for Hate
I've really been digging the new BR album New Maps of Hell, but this one (from 14 years ago) is more topical. It was written in response to Gulf War I, but the lyrics fit the current Iraqi incursion much better.
7) Stiff Little Fingers - Wasted Life
from the 1979 album Inflammable Material
Another condemnation of pointless wars. This one comes from 1970's Ireland. Some things are timeless.
8) Against Me! - White People for Peace
from the 2007 album New Wave
This track from their new major label debut was featured on my video WILT awhile back. I'm really loving the new record, but have a bad feeling that they'll either get huge (ala Green Day), or break under their new contract (ala Jawbreaker). I'm hoping that they gain a few new fans, fulfill their contract, then re-sign with an indie, and go back to their roots (ala Bad Religion). Wait and see...
9) Pinhead Gunpowder - Life During Wartime
from the 1997 album Goodbye Ellston Avenue
Speaking of Green Day. This is Billie Joe Armstrong's side project with the guys from Crimpshrine. This band goes all the way back to his Lookout days in 1992. I'm always amazed that no one knows about this side-project, and I've always admired Armstrong for keeping this little band alive through his mega-star years.
10) The Methadones - Starting Line
from the 2007 album This Won't Hurt...
Another brand-new one. I'm all about this new Methadone record, and already have tracks from this one slated for the next few WILTS.
11) Bhopal Stiffs - Bottle it Up
from the 1988 EP E.P.A.
Larry Damores' proto-Pegboy project. After my house burned down, I searched all over Chicago for replacements of this band's records. I had to wait for eBay to be invented before I completed my task. A few years back Harmless Records released an anthology (linked above). Any fan of 80's Chicago punk should definitly check it out.
12) Tiger Army - Ghosts of Memory
from the 2007 album Music From Regions Beyond
This one's off of the new Tiger Army record. I don't know why, but as soon as it starts getting cooler out and the leaves start to change I find myself listening to more and more rockabilly. Every year, same thing.
13) The Cramps - Human Fly
from the 1984 album Bad Music for Bad People
My favorite DeKalb crazy was the 'Human Fly' (ask anyone who has worked at the Grotto). If you're squeamish stop reading now. Seriously. You were warned - This guy used to sneak into the wank-booths in the back of the porno shop and lick the walls. Classy.
14) The Misfits - Astro Zombies
from the 1982 album Walk Among Us
Fall (x), Halloween (y), Misfits (z).
y/x. y-z = >Suck.
15) The Lillingtons - Zombies
from the 2006 album The Too Late Show
I've been saving this track from the final Lillingtons record for almost a year for inclusion in this mix. It was first in line.
16) Tim Armstrong - Among the Dead
from the 2007 album A Poet's Life
This is off of the brand-spanking new release from Mr. Armstrong (Rancid, Operation Ivy, Transplants). I picked this up on a whim back in D-Town (Target had the CD + bonus DVD for $9.99), and I'm really digging it.
17) Cop Shoot Cop - Migration
from the 1993 album Ask Questions Later
A few seasons back there was this weird fucking Under Armor Nike commercial featuring various athletes (including Urlacher) dressed up in gladiator bondage masks. I was convinced that the background music was J.G (Foetus) Thirlwell. I drove myself mad endlessly going through my music collection trying to find that song that I knew I had. A couple of years later I was listening to this Cop Shoot Cop album and that fucking track came on. I had the wrong band. I'm putting it on here because 1) I really like the song & 2) Now I relate this song to #54, and nothing sez "Autumn" like football.
18) Pailhead - I Will Refuse
from the 1988 album Trait
A nostalgia track from ye olde Wax Trax days. This is Ian (Minor Threat/Fugazi) MacKaye's collaboration with the guys from Ministry. I have now idea how this project between Mr. Straight-edge and the two most drugged-out degenerates in the northern hemisphere ever worked... but it did.
19) Zero Boys - Civilizations Dying
from the 1982 album Vicious Circle
This band is one of the few good things that ever came out of Indiana. It's probably also what killed 'em. Back in the early 80's these guys were the Indianapolis punk scene. They released one great album and then faded into obscurity. Until in the mid 90's when the new wave of popular punk bands kept listing 'em as an influence. They reunited and released a couple more records, but nothing that ever captured the raw energy of this album.
20) Turbonegro - Boys From Nowhere
from the 2007 album Retox
Track 10 from the brand-spanking-new Turbonegro CD. They're kicking off their new world-tour in Chicago on the 19th - Go fucking see 'em. They put on one hell of a show.
21) Dillinger Four - Portriat of the Artist as a Fucking Asshole
from the 1998 album Midwestern Songs of the Americas
This might be of interest only to me, but there was only one (1) album that was featured on both the Summer '07 WILT and this (next) Fall '07 WILT. This is it - D4's Midwestern Songs of the Americas and both tracks are in the '21' slot -Weird.
22) McLusky - That Man Will Not Hang
from the 2004 album The Difference Between Me and You is That I'm Not On Fire
It's been awhile since I put a McLusky track on a WILT. This is long over-due.
23) Thug Murder - Double Fist
from the 2001 album The Thirteenth Round
Where's the J-Pop? You ask. This is as close as we're gonna get on this one. Thug Murder is an all-girl group from Japan, but they're fucking tough-as-nails (and not the press-on variety). They all look like they just rioted their way out of an old Pinky Violence movie. I love them.
24) The Ramones - Smash You
bonus track from the 2002 re-issue of the 1984 album Too Tough to Die
I'm really glad that I'm obsessive completest record-nerd. Otherwise, I would have scoffed at buying a reissue of an album I hated. Apparently, this song was way too good to make it onto the original. I really really like this track. The rest of the album...
25) The Riverdales - Two-Headed Girl
bonus track from the 2006 re-issue of the 1995 Self-Titled album
Wow, Two re-issue bonus tracks in a row. One from The Ramones and one from the band that formed to record another great "Ramones" record 'cause the original wasn't cutting it. Whoa; Cosmic.
26) The Falcon - The Angry Cry of the Angry Pie
from the 2006 album Unicornography
Ed sez "More Falcon", I jump. This is the first track off of their latest record. I had to include it for the "Wind Beneath My Wings" breakdown alone.
27) Murder City Devils - Demon Brother
from the 2000 album In Name and Blood
Another great Autumnal track from the MCDs. Fits this mix like a bloody glove.
28) Shellac - Elephant
from the 2007 album Excellent Italian Greyhound
I hated this album at first. That's not a big deal - I hate all Albini albums the first few times through, but they always grow on me without exception. Now I'm really digging it (except for one track that still drives me nuts). Like with 1000 Hurts, you should buy the LP version - It's the same price as the CD version & the CD is included in the LP packaging. God love Steve Albini, King of vinyl nerds.
29) Fuckemos - Pussies Fly In Planes
from the 1998 album Black Hellicopters
This track is a love note to cross-country touring. I fucking love it, and it has worked its way onto my "madatory road-trip tracks" list. Great song to end on.
--end--

I'm not gonna waste any more time telling you how good this one is - you should already know.

Speaking of things you should know:
1) It's FREE
2) I'm only doing fifty (50) of these
3) Shoot your mailing address to dclies(at)gmail(dot)com and I'll mail you out a copy
4) First come, first served

And... GO!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Fuck Netflix, The Internet Archives Is Where It's At

I like music, I like to read, I like movies, I like free shit... I fucking love the Internet Archives (I.A.) site.

I.A. is a not-for-profit internet "library" collecting public-domain media and making it available for free streaming and download. It is probably the single coolest content site I've ever found yet.

They have everything:
Audio - Including a load of full-length live shows (including a good collection of Minutemen sets).
Web Archives - Searchable websites from the birth of the web (including dead pages).
Texts - Plenty of classic novels, and (even better) an unending collection of obscure antiquated tomes.
Where the I.A. really shines in in the Moving Images section. They have everything from old-tyme educational films, to news, to cartoons, to music videos - Sweet.

The best part is that there's a load of great movies up on the I.A. site (everything from Little Lord Fauntleroy to Triumph of the Will). There's a bunch of great B-movies available, and a lot of great old films. It was really hard to narrow down the list, but these are my top fifteen recommendations:

1) Akira Kurosawa's Roshomon -1950
One of my top 20 favorite films.

2) F.W. Munarau's Nosferatu - 1922
Great "extended" cut of this expressionist masterpiece.

3) Buster Keaton's The General - 1927
The 18th best American-made movie of all-time (according to the American Film Institute).

4) Preston Sturges' The Sin of Harold Diddlebock - 1947
Preston Sturges and Harold Lloyd team up for this "sequel" to The Freshman.

5) Fritz Lang's M - 1931
Everyone loves a happy little film about a serial child-murderer.

6) John Houston's The Battle of San Pietro - 1945
The world would be a much better place if every elected official was forced to watch this movie.

7) Charlie Chaplin's One A.M. - 1916
Chaplin + Booze = Awesome.

8) Alfred Hitchcock's The Man Who Knew Too Much - 1934
Hitchcock's breakout film (the original, not his 1956 remake).

9) George King's Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - 1936
Before you go see the new Tim Burton version this winter, check out this original film adaptation.

10) Salvador Dalí and Luis Buñuel's Un Chien Andalou - 1929
It's not weird-assed nonsense; It's art.

11) W.C. Fields in The Fatal Glass of Beer - 1933
Field's cornball parody of 1930's melodramas. Not his best, but good stuff nonetheless.

12) Johnny Cash in Five Minutes to Live - 1961
The Man in Black as a door-to-door psycho killer menacing lil' Ronnie Howard - What's not to like?

13) Sex Hygiene Millitary Training Film (Directed by John Ford) - 1942
If you go out whorin' you'll get boils the size of Buicks all up on your junk. When that happens, this film could save your life. Bonus: loads 'o' footage of infected penises. NSFW, obviously.

14) Superman in Japoteurs (animated) - 1942
A bunch of the great Max Fleisher toons are available on I.A., but this one is wonderfully offensive.

15) The Little Rascals in Dogs of War (featuring Harold Lloyd) - 1923
I'm just glad I found this here so I didn't have to buy a sub-par Harold Lloyd DVD set just to get this.

P.S. - It's FREE, FREE, FREE!!!
---

Update: Due to the overwhelming traffic from this post, the I.A. site has crashed (or possibly due to the new BinLaden video). It should be back up again once the flood dies down.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Woo-Hoo

Just found out that the Fox Network 4PM game out here in DC is the Bears season opener. I am blessed.

Now we just have to get the Honeybears back so that we can win another Superbowl. Ed, you work on that.
Go Bears!!!

Monday, September 03, 2007

...Love Jenny

It's been a HUGE weekend for projects. I've been running at full-tilt trying to get a bunch of shit together in a short amount of time. Look for more in the coming days, but here's one that's ready to go:
I've been trying to get The Girl to put together a blog for a while now featuring open letters to whoever is pissing her off at any given time. She wasn't interested, so I went ahead and did it myself. I'm hoping that now that it's done that she'll pick up the reigns.
I present ...LOVE JENNY.
The inspiration for this site came from my penchant for condensing all of her rants down to a one sentence "fan" letter to who/whatever was pissing her off. For instance, while I was watching 'Tucker" on MSNBC she launched into a long diatribe on every single way that Tucker Carlson sucked. After 15 minutes I suggested that she write into the show with a letter which read:
Dear Tucker Carlson,
Bow-ties are gay. Drop dead.

Love, Jenny
She never did it (or any of the others - much to my disappointment), but it was a running joke between us.

The other night we were watching The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe and she just couldn't get over the fact that they had digitally removed Aslan's nuts. Throughout the whole damned movie all I heard was "lions have balls" over and over. I then decided that this great wisdom shouldn't be wasted - It needed to be shared with the world. Thus, ...Love Jenny was born.

Enjoy.