Sunday, October 29, 2006

Last Call

I just finished up the last batch of the Summer '06 WILT CDs. There are still a few of you blog monkeys that I haven't heard from, so If you want a copy let me know and I'll mail one on out to ya. Also, if you got a defect or if your copy hasn't shown up yet (Di?) I'd be more than happy to shoot out a replacement.
I've got about a dozen left, so this is your last chance to rock out (but please leave your cock within the confines of your undergarments).

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Interesting
(Not So Much If You're Not A Cubs Fan)

Detroit Tigers World Series Results
Year Opponent Result
2006 St. Louis Cardinals L, 4-1
1984 San Diego Padres W, 4-1
1968 St. Louis Cardinals W, 4-3
1945 Chicago Cubs W, 4-3
1940 Cincinnati Reds L, 4-3
1935 Chicago Cubs W, 4-2
1934 St. Louis Cardinals L, 4-3
1909 Pittsburgh Pirates L, 4-3
1908 Chicago Cubs L, 4-1
1907 Chicago Cubs L, 4-0

Friday, October 27, 2006

The Truth

Today Salon.com posted an EXCELLENT interview with Camille Paglia. I've always liked her writings, and have always found her very insightful, but it's been awhile since I've read anything that has been so dead-on. She nails the Foley scandal, the war in Iraq, and the current direction of the Democratic party. It really is incredible, check it out if you can.
...

Update: To read the full article without a Slate subscription click the link and watch a 10 second add for full access. It's totally worth it.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Vidiot - Sports Edition

Just a couple of things that I ran across on the internets:

The problem with the Washington Redskins - LINK

If I hear this fucking song one more time I'm gonna start shootin', although I do like this video a lot better. - LINK

All Hail The Queenie!

Ms. K(i)M just launched her new blog, and it's chock full of horsey goodness.
Here, I would go into her blog saga, but I'm under the impression that I should refrain from flogging that dead horse. I've decided to reign myself in, get down off of my high horse, and not turn the whole fiasco into a dog and pony show. The important thing is that she's back and we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, and definitely not engage in neigh-saying. This dark horse is looking strong out of the gate, and promises to be short on any horse play.

If anyone is still reading, I'm truly sorry for the barrage of bad equine references. "Where the hell are my horseshoes?!" is poised to rock out some truth, and that's straight from the horse's mouth.

Again, sorry.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Half-A-Rant

Every single year in the off-season a handful of football analysts pick the Arizona Cardinals and Detroit Lions to be the dark-horse teams in the NFL. Every year by mid-season those teams are at the very bottom of the standings.
I think it's time to write in stone that those teams WILL ALWAYS SUCK - period - end.
Don't delude yourselves; even if one of those teams managed to sign Jesus Christ to a 10 year contract they would still be struggling to keep ahead of the Houston Texans in the rankings. Thinking otherwise is just stupid.

Monday, October 23, 2006

A Little of Everything and a Lot of Nothing

The Girl's parents were in town this weekend, so we had a lot of "family time" - not bad. Here are the things I did between scamming free meals from her family:

Films:
About Last Night
I Tivoed this a few months back on a whim after I read that this film was an adaptation of the David Mamet play 'Sexual Perversity in Chicago'. I love Mamet's writing, so I figured that I'd give it a shot.
Turns out, I'd seen the movie a looooong time ago, and have since (apparently) subconsciously modeled every relationship I've had on that one (except I tend to date the bitchy roommate type). There's something terribly disconcerting in realizing that your entire romantic history could relate directly to a cheesy 80's movie scripted by Mamet, and starring the likes of Rob Lowe and Jim Belushi.
Well, I'm sure it's just a coincidence.
No, huh?
Dammit.
Dogville
I really like the films of Lars von Trier, but I had some serious reservations about this one. Everyone I had talked to had either LOVED it or HATED it, plus a bunch of anti-american labels had been slapped on this picture by various critics. I Tivoed it and let it sit for a few months before I took the plunge.
Saturday night I had fallen asleep on the couch while watching the World Series, and I woke up a few hours later at 4AM. As you all know, there isn't shit on at 4AM Sunday morning, therefore it was a perfect time to watch a 3 hour long indie-pic staged like a play on a minimal set. Woo-hoo!
At first the bare-bones set was distracting, but after a few scenes, it seemed natural. It was like watching an excellently staged play that I could pause (Hey, everyone stop! I've got to pee again. Thanks).
This was an absolutely incredible movie. See it if you get the chance.
If you don't get a chance to see it, you should, at least, remember the lesson of the story; Poor people are scum, and should be eradicated at all costs (I think that was the moral).

Bicycle:
I finished putting together my new bike, and took it out on the town for the first time this weekend.
The thing with DC is, if you purchase a bicycle it will get stolen if you lock it to anything for longer than 7 minutes. After furnishing half of the degenerates in the DC metro region with sweet-ass retro cruiser bikes, I promised myself that I wouldn't buy another bicycle as long as I lived in this shithole.
Well, I saw a special on Ben's Bargains for a beach-cruiser that cost $80 shipped. I went for it. It was a breeze to assemble, and the biggest chore was stripping off all of the gay-ass decals that it was plastered with. Now, I'm cruising in style (until some hood-rat swipes this one).

Best Buy CD Hunt:
I've become spoiled with the abundant availability of diverse music over the internets (see: the long tail theory).
We stopped by the Best Buy in Wheaton on the way to meet up with The Girl's family up in Olney, MD. I had a list of 7 CDs and 1 DVD that I wanted to pick up, they had (drumroll) none of the items I was looking for. Here's what I wanted:
1) The Proposition DVD
2) Childish Things - James McMurtry
3) Ege Bamyasi - Can
4) The Avalanche: Outtakes & Extras from the Illinois Album - Sufjan Stevens
5) Complete MGM Recordings - Lee Hazlewood
6) All Things to All People - Carpark North
7) The Internationale/Live and Dubious - Billy Bragg
8) Love Their Country - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
Okay, I realize that that's a pretty eclectic list, but most of those are considered "mainstream" releases. I expected BB to have, at least, one of those. In fact, they only had a designated space for two of those artists on the shelves (Sufjan Stevens & Me First and the Gimme Gimmes).
Bah.

Sports:
World Series - I realized this weekend that I just don't give a shit.
I do, however, think that Ronnie Belliard looks like a retarded kid on a swing set every time he goes up to bat and that Scott Spiezio's chin looks like a stripper's crotch, so I guess that I'm pulling for D-Town just so those jokers won't win. Bunch 'o' Pujols.
Football - My heart is still racing from last Monday's Bears game, so everything this week was anticlimactic. The highlight of the day was definitely watching Joe's face as the Bucs nailed the 63 yard field goal to defeat his beloved Eagles.
The Redskins' season is DEAD. Even as tight as the NFC East division is shaping up to be, there is no fucking way the Skins can clench a playoff spot with their upcoming schedule. On the plus side; from here on out, I should be able to get as many free tickets as I want to see Jason Campbell blossom as an NFL quarterback. Gotta love those fair weather fans.

I have a few more things that I was gonna throw on here, but (for the sake of brevity) I've decided to do separate posts on blog updates, my new MP3 player, and a couple of announcements. Look for 'em later this week.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Meditations on Chicago Baseball - Part II

Well, it only took me two months in getting around to doing this stupid fucking post. Here it is; Lucky you.
Cubs
I grew up a Cubbies fan. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of getting to cut school to go out to Wrigley with the parents for afternoon games in the crisp Chicago springtime. I remember the legendary (read: infamous) '84 run, and the crushing disappointment of defeat (to the fucking Padres, nonetheless). And I'll always remember my grandfather's words to me on that night: "Sometimes baseball is a lot like life; unfair... Fucking Cubs."
Amen.

As time went on, I lost faith. I became a cubgnostic. I focused all of my attention on bands, beer, and boobies rather than batters, base-running, and box scores.
I remember fucking HATING the Cubs. I'm pretty sure that it came from trying to find parking for a show at the Metro an the same day as a game (this happened often). Priorities had shifted, and I was firmly on the other side of the fence. I'd get into fights with the legions of drunk frat boys stumbling out of the Wrigleyville bars, I'd push through the herds of Cubs fans clogging the Clark street sidewalks, and I'd piss all over the outside of Wrigley Field any chance I got.

As time passed (and teen-angst subsided) I somehow found my way back into the ivy. I started getting back into the Bears when I was in my late teens, but I kept holding a grudge against the Cubs for much longer. It wasn't until I moved away from Chicago that I began to appreciate the team once again. Maybe it was hometown pride, but I really think it's more.
Honestly, I'm not quite sure how it happened. I just remember going with a friend to Wrigley (I'm not sure why) one crisp spring afternoon in 2000 while I was back visiting, and feeling a wave of tranquility pass over me. I was home, and all was forgiven. Wrigley baseball was just too perfect to hate. It didn't even bother me when the Chubbies lost, because that's what they do.

I begun to appreciate Wrigley even more after attending games out here on the East Coast. The stadiums seemed garish and full of unwanted distractions. It seemed like they were trying to sell the idea of baseball rather than the game itself. It was meretricious crap for ADD kids, nothing more. Say what you will about the Cubs, but if you go to Wrigley you'll see baseball in it's purest form. At Wrigley, the game you'll see is pretty-fucking-close to what you would have seen back in 1916, and that's saying something.

Crackpot theory* time:
I've begun to think of being a Cubs fan much like being a modern Catholic. Amongst all of the failures, embarrassment, and a complete lack of evidence on our behalf; we keep the faith. The circle (C), which should be a badge of shame, is worn with pride. It's the scarlet A of baseball (and no, not the Angels logo, you ass). Fuck, the Cubs finished dead-fucking-last in the National League, but lately I've seen more Cubs gear being worn around Washington DC than Tigers, Cardinals, and White Sox items combined. I don't understand it, but I can't help but love it. It's just good to know that there are other totally shameless retards out there.
I still believe. That unquestioning belief has caused many bad days, and got me a busted TV screen during the 2003 NCLS series, but I do believe.

Okay, there are several things that royally piss me off about the team. I really hate how the Cubs have become the new "Red Sox" for every single baseball masochist still out there. All this cheesy hokum surrounding around the team would even make Peter Angelos blush. I watched that recent HBO special on the Cubs and barely escaped without going into diabetic shock.
Granted, most of the fans are unsufferable drunken douches, but that's no different from any other sports team. Cubs fans just have a (much) shorter walk from the bar to the ballpark.
The biggest complaint I have is the Cubbies' penchant for throwing good money after bad. After 98 years of drought, you'd think they'd learn a lesson. I was convinced that Joe Girardi would be the perfect guy to come in and trim the fat. Tabula rasa - salt the earth - burn it down and rebuild. Instead, we got Louie P and rumors of A-Rod. We're fucked.
At this rate, it looks like "next year" wont come until the Fall of '58. I'll be eighty-three years old, and up in the stands when it happens. Mark** my words.
...

*as opposed to "crackpipe theory" time, which is a registered trademark of the Chicago White Sox Fan Club
** not Prior

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Tivolution

Mr. ChrisB sent out an ePissy e-mail checking on what everyone was watching on their picto-tubes. Since my brain defect prevents me from shooting off a simple list like a normal (not OCD) person, I sent out a freaking link-ridden overly-descriptive mess out to everyone. It works fine as a blog entry, though. So, here you are.
...
Here are the shows that I have set up in my Tivo 'season pass':

Heroes
This show rocks - period. It's a total X-Men rip-off, but (so far) it's way-better than any of the X-Movies.

Dexter
It's like HBO had a fire-sale on character actors and Showtime went nuts. Dexter features one actor from Six Feet Under, one actor from Sex & the City, one actor from The Sopranos, and four from OZ.
It's only a couple of episodes in, but this series has true promise. It's about a blood-spatter specialist who serial-kills serial killers. Wow, the premise just collapsed into itself. It sounds kinda gay, but is actually really good.

My Name is Earl
White-trash zen makes for some great television. For my money, the best cast on TV.

Venture Brothers
Superb - I can't get enough of this show. Plus HUGE props go out to J.G.Thirlwell for the best soundtrack in the history of television.

Metalocalypse
METALOCALYPSE FUCKIN RULZ!!! *banging head furiously*

12 oz. Mouse
Once again, this is either the best show ever to be aired or the worst. I'm still not sure, but I can't stop watching.

Most of the shows above have free downloadable episodes on their websites, or extended clips. Check 'em out. If nothing else, click on the 12 oz. Mouse link for a hard-ripping guitar solo (I think that that was an entire episode, if I'm not mistaken).

I also have been watching Studio 60, The Office, and most of the Adult Swim lineup, but they haven't made the Tivo cut yet. I also gave Jericho a shot because it's pretty hard to fuck-up a post-apocalyptic storyline - They managed it.
That's about it. Well, except for football... Go Bears!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Fuck United (Yet Again)

It's a nice clear day in Chicago, yet my flight is delayed - again. I'm
out on the tarmac sitting like a sucker. Would it kill 'em to delay it
at the gate (where there's beer)?
I just don't fucking get it.

- Sent From Blackberry Handheld -

Monday, October 16, 2006

Go Bears!

Fuck Matt Leinart and his fat fucking whore of a wife.
...
I guess you had to be there.

- Sent From Blackberry Handheld -

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Fuck United (Again)

I'm flying on United Airlines to O'Hare so (of course) my plane is delayed. This means that I'm out on the tarmac stuck in my seat for at least another hour before we even take off. Fuck! I meant to book this flight on American, but opted for the earlier time.
I really should have taken the 2PM AA flight, it most likely will get there way before the 10:45AM United flight. Just out of curiosity, has anyone EVER had a flight into O'Hare on United that wasn't delayed?
Fucking suck-asses.

- Sent From Blackberry Handheld -

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Meditations on New York Baseball

Getting knocked out of the playoffs by the D-Town Tiggers does not justify flying your plane into a building.


The plane that smashed into a Manhattan skyrise earlier today was piloted by Cory Lidle (the pitcher that lost Saturday's game to eliminate the Yanks).
Talk about a sore loser. This is yet another example of a Yankee player crashing and burning in the post-season.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

One Week From Today...

I'll be back in Illinois for a few days. My schedule is fairly tight, but I will have some free time.

Make a note of it.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

What I'm Listening To - Fall 2006

It's now been a full year since the first seasonal compilation CD went out. Since then I've burned 200+ CDRs and almost as many bridges. It's been a weird year, for sure.
Well, it's time to start anew. I figured that the new series deserved a new layout, but I'm keeping the blog liner notes (even though I really don't think anyone reads these damn things).
Onto the CD itself - This one was probably the easiest of the 5 (so far) to throw together, because by the time I started it I knew EXACTLY what tracks I wanted on this thing. There were a few switches/omissions, but those were done mostly to ease the transitions (hey, I'm rhyming!). This disc is SOLID there isn't one song on here that I'm not crazy about. This fucker flows like a river and has more hooks than a slaughter-house. Don't believe me? Just listen to it. Bitch.

Liner Notes:
1) Billy Bragg - A New England
from the 1983 album Life's a Riot
They call Billy Bragg "the one-man Clash". I assume that's because he released a couple of incredible records and then spent the rest of his career crapping out self-indulgent dreck.
This one's off of his first record. It's just him singing and playing a crappy electric guitar. It doesn't get any more simple than this - it also doesn't get any better.
2) Bad Astronaut - 500 Miles
from the 2001 album Acrophobe
I have nothing but great things to say about this band. I've wanted to throw this track on the last few mixes, but haven't been able to find a good place for it... until now.
3) Screeching Weasel - Message in a Beer Bottle
from the 2000 album Teen Punks In Heat
Straight-forward 4/4 rocking goodness off of the final SW album. I've got a message for all of you...
4) Against Me! - Sink, Florida, Sink (Electric)
from the 2004 compilation Rock Against Bush vol. 1
My sentiments exactly.
The fourth song (in a row) that clocks in at under 2:15. It's the old 1-2-3-4 punch. The more stuff I hear from this band, the more I like 'em. This one is an alternate version of one of their earlier tracks.
5) Bad Religion - Los Angeles is Burning
from the 2004 album The Empire Strikes First
...and it could be with a nice southerly wind.
With the Day Fire turning the 'Golden State' into the 'Charred-Ash State' this song was a gimme. This follows the AM! track in my "places I want to go away" series. This catchy-as-hell song is off of BR's newest album.
6) Murder City Devils - Fields of Fire
from the 2000 album In Name and Blood
I'm still bummed-out that these guys aren't around anymore. This track is the last song off of their last studio LP, and it bridges the Bad Religion and Johnny Cash tracks perfectly. How many bands could say that?
7) Johnny Cash - God's Gonna Cut You Down
from the 2006 album American V - A Hundred Highways
This is the second song off of the new American 5 record. Word is, Cash has a few more posthumous albums in post-production - He spent his last year on Earth in the studio. If this track is any indication, the best work of his career may still be forthcoming
8) Turbonegro - All My Friends Are Dead
from the 2005 album Party Animals
...because God cut 'em down.
This track is fresh off of the latest Turbonegro release, which (apparently) still hasn't been released in the US. At first I hated this record, and wrote a smarmy blog entry about it. The more I listen to it, the more I love it. I hereby rescind my earlier statements - my bad.
9) Ramones - You're Gonna Kill That Girl
from the 1976 album Leave Home
Quick, someone warn Marlo Thomas!
This track is off of one of the greatest albums of all time. If you haven't picked up the Rhino re-issue of this record yet, please do so now (I'll wait). I grabbed this superb track 'cause of its Halloween vibe, plus if I hear (or have to spell) "Pet Sematary" one more time, I'm gonna projectile vomit.
10) Methadones - Ugly Things About You
from the 2002 compilation 1157 Wheeler Avenue
The Methadones just released a superb cover album of 1970's-1980's power-pop hits. I was about to throw one of those tracks on here, but decided (instead) to rescue this unreleased gem from benefit-album obscurity. There'll be plenty of other comps on which those covers will find a home - I promise.
11) Chixdiggit! - I Remember You
from the 2005 album Pink Razors
I swear that I put this freaking song on another mix CD. I went through all of the comps I've made since this album came out - nothing. I probably just missed it, but I really don't care. I could justify putting this track on three more mixes. Don't test me.
12) Valerie Hohn - Lucie est Amoureuse
from the 2004 soundtrack to Shimotsuma Monogatari
Um... Uh... Well, this is a track from a Japanese film sung in French. Blame The Girl - She tracked down a copy of the Kamikaze Girls (Shimotsuma Monogatari) Soundtrack from Japan, and it has been in HEAVY rotation ever since its arrival. I can guarantee that several more tracks from this record will find their way onto forthcoming compilations.
13) Electric Six - Jimmy Carter
from the 2005 album SeƱor Smoke
If I were any more into this band right now I could taste 'em. Ewww.
I liked their debut album, but kind of thought of them as a one-off schtick band (here's your Rice-a-Roni, thanks for playing). Since seeing them play live and listening to their following 2 records, I've changed my tune - drastically. These guys are the real deal, and I had about 10 of their songs that I wanted to throw on this thing. I settled on this one because any song that can successfully tie together the themes of the Backstreet Boys, maid abuse, electric underwear, the death of Ronald Reagan, and Armageddon deserves to be heard.
14) Jesus and Mary Chain - Drop
from the 1989 album Automatic
I've always had a thing for this song. It stands as a melodic oasis amongst the barrage of sound which is 'Automatic'. This one song added greater dimension to the album. Crazy how that works, huh?
By the way, I'm still way into the Rhino Dual-Disc JAMC surround-sound releases. It's amazing how after listening to something countless times you can still be able to hear it differently, and find a whole new level of appreciation for the album(s).
15) Drag the River - So Long Hoss
from the 2004 EP Hey Buddies...
You all know how I feel about Drag the River - Best country band ever. Not just alt-country; Country - Period. Better than Uncle Tupelo, better than any Bloodshot act, and worlds beyond anything Nashville has shit out over the last few decades. Cash still tops my country pantheon, but (for all intents and purposes) he's a solo act. My only grievance is that the DTR boys have been so busy with this project that Jon hasn't gotten out an Armchair Martian album in awhile. Oh, well.
16) Willie Nelson - Pancho & Lefty
from the 1983 album Pancho & Lefty
What is it with The Man trying to take down the Red-Headed Stranger? Oh yeah; Drugs and taxes. Well, nevermind all that noise, because we love him all-the-more for it. Everyone who reads this should mosey on down to the ol' Amazon music page and wrangle up a couple of his CDs; The man has legal bills to pay, you know.
This song kept getting bumped from the last few mix CDs, but I finally found the perfect place for it. I'm glad I waited.
17) Folk Implosion - One Part Lullaby
from the 1999 album One Part Lullaby
Hey, two title tracks in a row. Now we're rollin'.
This is the song I wanted to stick on the Summer comp, but was talked out of it by The Girl. It's still my favorite track on the record, but is a much better fit here.
18) Tommy February6 - Where are You? "My Hero"
from the 2002 self-titled release Tommy February6
More crazy-ass J-Pop from Tokyo's answer to Avril Lavigne. If I'm listening to this one correctly, it's about her holdin' out for a hero who can protect her from her shadow which (apparently) is fucking terrifying. Um, yeah.
If this track isn't used in one of the Japanese segments on NBC's 'Heroes' I'll be seriously disappointed.
19) Nerf Herder - She‚’s a Sleestak
from the 2000 album How to Meet Girls
I'm not sure about shadows, but Sleestaks are pretty creepy.
Another great song from the herders of nerf. Seriously, I have a huge freakin' back-log of Nerf Herder/Parry Gripp songs looking to find their way onto mix CDs. I'm like the crazy cat lady, but with nerdy pop-punk tracks instead of felines.
20) Mclusky - Whoyouknow
from the 2002 album Mclusky Do Dallas
More full-forward rock from the band that changed the face of Steve Albini produced Scottish indie-rock. Get yourselves some.
21) Dillinger Four - Like Sprewells on a Wheelchair
from the 2004 compilation Rock Against Bush vol. 2
I Googled it so that you wouldn't have to: Sprewells are those fancy-ass spinning rim-jobbers that the ethnic kids love so much.
I'm really getting into this band again. I listened to them a lot back when I had the record store, but hadn't listened to them much since (until recently). Now I can't get enough. This track is an unreleased track from a budget compilation.
22) M.O.T.O. - Primeval
from the 2005 album Raw Power
I walk along through the primeval. 5 words, 3 chords, 1 solo.
That's it, yet those words will borough into your brain and spawn there like mighty earwigs. Good luck getting that out.
23) Misfits - Hybrid Moments
from the 1978 recording Static Age
Oooooo, that song's so spooky I can't believe I got it onto the mix without running away crying (3rd time's a charm).
Halloween without Misfits is like Kandy Korn without the Kandy, and everyone knows that just 'Korn' sucks - Hard.
24) Mike Johnson - A Message to Pretty
from the 1998 album I Feel Alright
Here it is; the last version (of 3) of A Message to Pretty you'll find on my compilations. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but the premise has kinda worn thin. I actually had a couple of additional covers, but decided to kill it with this one. For my money, this is the best version out there (including the original). This Mike Johnson cover of M2P is what got me interested in Love (with some help from EdP & the Old Dog).
For those of you not in the know, Mike Johnson replaced Lou Barlow in Dinosaur Jr and played with them from 1989 to 1997. After Dino Jr went tits-up, he came out with a series of excellent solo albums, unlike anything he had done with Dino Jr. Check 'em out if you can.
25) Jason Webley - Southern Cross
from the 2002 album Counterpoint
Just as Fall transitions into the cold still of Winter, this track serves the purpose of winding everything down and moving the compilation toward its inevitable end. It's a slow mournful dirge, a perfect companion for sipping whiskey by the leaf-fire. Then again, any music is good for drinking whiskey by the leaf-fire. I still like this song anyway.
26) Black Heart Procession - Til We Have to Say Goodbye
from the 2000 album 3
I decided back in the Spring that this would be the perfect song to end the Fall '06 WILT CD. I stuck to it, and past me is a fucking genius. Hooray, 'past me'! I hate to end on a down-note, but that's just what Fall does. So there.

That's it, I'm done with those fucking liner notes. Sorry it took 3 days to finish this post, but what do you expect?
Everyone: We expect free shit!
Me: Oh, yeah. I forgot.
Everyone: Well, how do we get it?
Me: You know that.
Everyone: Huh?
Me: Dammit, you should know by now. Shoot an e-mail, with your full mailing info, to dclies(at)gmail.com, and I'll send one out to you. I'm only doing 50 of these, so hop to it.
Everyone: For free?
Me: For free.
Everyone: Free, free? what about shipping?
Me: Yes free; no strings attached.
Everyone: No strings attached? You don't want any money for expenses or anything?
Me: Nope.
Everyone: Nothing?
Me Nope.
Everyone: How about hot dirty sex?
Me: Um... We'll talk.
Everyone: We love you!
Me: And I love you too. *under breath* ... filthy peasants