I Got Nuthin

I really don't have anything worth posting about... seriously.
Nothing - Nada - Zilch.
All I have is this humorous picture of a squirrel that The Girl found somewhere on the interwebs:Hope you enjoyed that.

Contested

The first person who can name the source picture for the new L&E banner (above) will win one of 3 super-awesome prizes (you choose).

Send all guesses to dcles(at)gmail.com along with your mailing address.
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UPDATE
Ladies & gentlemen, we have a weiner:
Ms. Janxgirl85 called it, and has chosen to receive the complete collection of pre-WILT mix CDs. Now I just have to burn those 25 comps and get 'em in the mail.
Thanx for playing.

The image is from the 1928 silent film The Man Who Laughs.
HERE'S a post that I did on that film just about 1 year ago.

Printer Solstice

I just got a new printer. I'm pretty excited.

That's just how lame I am.

Freedom À La Carte

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Babies Like Strippers, Right?

On December 8th I ordered a couple of gifts for my 1 year-old nephew. I was going to be responsible and get that one thing out of the way before I started my whole moving fiasco. This is that story:
Taking a cue from Kaka, I decided to get the kid a couple of UglyDolls. I figured that plush toys were the way to go, and the more unique they are, the more memorable they should be in the long-run. Yeah, He's only 1, but babies love stuffed toys - I know I did. My mom kept all of those toys and whenever I look at 'em a flood of memories comes flooding back over me. It's still kinda cool.

Anyway, I made the order back in early December directly from the UglyDoll site so that it'd be sure to arrive before the holidays. It never showed.
Turns out, they'd shipped the package to a P.O. box using FedEx - That doesn't work. The package got lost in shipping limbo. After the holidays I called up their customer service department. They apologized profusely and re-shipped the package... to the post office... with FedEx... again. Seriously.
It still hadn't arrived by the middle of January, so I shot a series of e-mails to the customer service department. They kindly offered to refund my money and re-ship out the order gratis with a bunch of extras throw in for my trouble; which I thought was very nice, except... By the beginning of this month, I still hadn't received a refund to my account, or a package of any sort from 'em. Nothing; nada.
I called up customer service yet again on the 5th of this month and pleaded with them just to credit my checking account before I had to close it out on the 15th. I'm pretty sure the customer service girl didn't take that job to deal with a near-hysterical 32 year-old man on the verge of tears, so she wasn't gonna argue.
"...I'm incredibly sorry sir, we'll credit the account and ship out another package immediately."
"You keep saying that. [sobbing] Quit saying that unless you really mean it."
"We'll get this sorted out right now."
"Seriously? For true? DON"T SHIP IT FED EX!"
Amazingly, a credit for $47 appeared on my checking account on the 14th - One day before I was scheduled to leave back for IL. I was so happy that I almost fell outta the computer chair. I could close out my DC checking account and not lose that credit.
One promise down...

Yesterday the package finally arrived.
It took 2 months and 2 weeks to finally get the order - I ripped into it with disbelief, and...
THE ORDER WAS WRONG!?!
I had ordered 2 full-sized UglyDolls and they sent me one full-sized doll and one fucking key-chain.
ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING KIDDING ME?
NO, REALLY, ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING KIDDING ME?
Calm down; you got the credit back - itwasfreeitwasfreeitwasfreeitwasfreeitwasfree...

So, I'm heading out to visit the nephew tomorrow, and I need another gift quick. So I head out to Wal-Mart at 11PM tonight for a last-minute stop-gap gift. I spent 45 solid minutes roaming through the toy aisles, wherein devised up my theorem that all babies must be extraordinarily boring and/or gay. There wasn't one fucking age-appropriate thing in that whole fucking store that I wouldn't be mortally fucking embarrassed to have in my house. When the kid turns 6, his uncle is gonna come through big-time, but for now the kid is so much better than all the crap they're peddling for babies.
The only things I found that were even sorta cool that weren't way out of his age-range were the Doodle Pirates, but buying a baby something called a "doodle pirate" seemed like a sure-fire way to end up on a government watch-list. I wasn't gonna fall for that trap.
I was heading out when I stumbled across a bunch of really cool fuzzy little plush toys of rabbits, squirrels, beavers, and other assorted wildlife... for dogs. I stood there for a good 5 minutes eying a plush wild turkey and noodling over how my sister-in-law would react to me bringing a basket full 'o' Fido's Pride brand chew toys for her baby. I decided against it.
I headed home, dejected.
When I got back I decided to check Amazon to see what I could find. I found the missing UglyDoll shipped directly from Amazon for $5 less. Score. I picked out a second UglyDoll so that I could get free shipping, and (in the end) the 2 dolls came out to ten bucks less than ordering directly from the manufacturer. So I got the refund, and the kid is getting 3 UglyDolls for less than what I was gonna pay for two. Everybody wins (sorta).

I bet that that package gets soooo lost. Bastards.

John McWho?

Did anyone have any idea that John McCain was in Sugar Grove (IL) tonight for an Oberweis fund-raiser?
Well he was.
I had no idea until I got the invite about a half-hour beforehand. I still haven't seen anything in the media. I'm just amazed that the (default) Republican nominee could head into Illinois and no one seems to care or notice.

Huh.

What The Flickr?

I threw up a handful of random photos up on my Flickr page. This should serve as a warning to everyone that booze and photography make strange bedfellows, indeed.

Garmin Electra

The Girl just gave me a Garmin Nüvi on the expressed condition that I never make her navigate anywhere ever again. This last trip back from DC I had a chance to road-test it. I gotta say, it's pretty fucking sweet.
I've made that trip about 20 times, so I didn't really need the map function, but I was all about was the statistics function. I became obsessed with raising my "overall average" and keeping the "time stopped" to a minimum.
My obsessing allowed the time to fly by and I made the trip in record time - 10 hours and 45 minutes. From the start (leaving DC at 10AM), the device called the estimated time of arrival as 7:48 (central time) - I thought the thing was fucking nuts. I've never made the trip in less than 11 hours and 15 minutes, but the Garmin called it within 3 minutes from the get-go. How, I have no idea.
My proudest accomplishment was keeping my stopped time down to 22 minutes - That includes time stopped at traffic signals, in traffic, and fuel/bathroom breaks (3 each). Impressive.

I can't wait to take it out and test the map function.
Cartography rulz!
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Here's the Garmin breakdown of the DC to Illinois trip:
745.3 miles
Total Trip Time: 10 hrs. 45 min.
Moving Time: 10 hrs. 24min.
Time Stopped: 21 min. 46 sec.
Max Speed: 85.9 mph
Moving Average: 71.7 mph
Overall Average 69.3 mph

Heading Home

I've gotten everything wrapped-up here in DC, and am driving back to Illinois this morning so that I miss the ice storm tomorrow.

Here I come.

Steve Kazmierczak

The Chicago Tribune hasn't "released" the name of the NIU shooter, but if you follow the leads in THIS article, THIS has to be the guy.
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HERE'S something else I dug up.
Weird.
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I think I may have found the guy's Live Journal page. By searching his UIUC alias (sans "2"), I found this (skazmie.livejournal.com/).
I really wouldn't paste that link if I were you - The page seemes really wiggy, my SpyBot and StopScript programs started going nuts when I checked it out, which led to the Blue Screen of Death. It might just be Vista being Vista, but I don't trust it.
All you need to know is that the user name is "steve... kaz. ..." & it's titled "Emo-Sexual Blog".
Seriously.

Update: It looks like this one was a false-positive. Sorry, Emo-Sexual Blog - Keep on keeping on.
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Clarification:
I went to school in DeKalb and still have a bunch of friends back there (some who work for the university), but I never knew the shooter (nor would I want to).
I just put together some clues that were being floated by various media sources early this morning. I cannot vouch for the validity of any of the aforementioned sites or any sites mentioned in the comment field.
I just happened to be awake at 3AM, did a few simple web searches, and posted what I found - That's it.

Nothing Says "Valentines Day" Like Logistics

I finally got everything wrapped-up back here in DC. Now I'm just waiting for the weather to clear (and this damned head-cold to dissipate) before driving the 12 hours back to Illinois.

I'm thinking that'll happen either Saturday or Sunday.

The Liar's Answers To All Tech Questions

I just had to make up a list of simple answers to any and all comp-tech questions for first-time computer owner, Mr. Drinky Joe.
Here it is:

A) Yeah, It'll do that.

B) Make sure that it's plugged in/turned on.

C) If it looks like it's gonna catch fire, carefully unplug it and place it on the front lawn.

D) If the computer gains self-awareness, under no circumstance should you allow it to compete with you for the love of a woman, instigate a thermonuclear war with the U.S.S.R., or establish a sentient machine army to overthrow the human race.

E) For any other scenario, just ask anyone else under the age of 65 who's sober and/or "Jeeves".

That just about covers it.

Voting For Winners Is For Losers

Part of my timing in going back to DC when I did was so that I could vote in the Maryland primary today. It didn't help that less than 12 hours after I landed at BWI my preferred candidate dropped out of the race.
The golden lining: I got to vote with my heart rather than my brain.
I'm officially a proud Ron Paul voter. Granted, he's a total nut-job, but he's my kind of total nut-job. I fucking love the nut-jobs. Keep in mind that I'm possibly the only registered Republican who voted for Ralph Nader in 2000 and 2004 - both times out of spite.
Back in 2000 I was crushed that we got Bush II instead of Powell or McCain, and I sure as shit wasn't gonna cast a vote that would make PMRC Tipper the first lady.
In 2004 I was fed-up with G-Dub and appalled at the ineptitude of the Kerry campaign. I voted for Ralph just to egg him on.

This year I really liked Romney. I felt that he alone had the wherewithal to clean up the huge fucking mess that Georgie the second has left this nation in. I wasn't thrilled at his pandering to the right-wing (not that it did him a bit of good), but was convinced that he'd go back into Massachusetts Governor mode just in time for the general election.
Rev. God-boy Huckster blew that all to hell - Just like those twisters blew the hell out of the Super-Tuesday states he carried.
Holy shit; God is a Mormon - Who knew?

Anyway... I sorta like McCain, but I think that he's the wrong guy at the wrong time for the nation. I have a load of respect for Hillary, but I'm not excited by any means. And don't even get me started on Obama unless you get a six-pack in me and sign a release-waiver.
I hear that Nader's planning on running again this year - He just might get my "fuck you" vote for the 3rd presidential election in a row.

That should be good for a laugh.

February

Holy shit! I haven't posted a damned thing yet this month.
I totally suck.

Here's the deal: I'm taking a hiatus from running around northern Illinois and am back in DC for a week to change Drinky Joe's litter and wrap-up some other loose ends.
I plan on driving back to Chicago sometime either Friday or Saturday (weather permitting), then I'll get back to trying to find gainful employment and a place to live.
Until then; bottoms up.