Notice:If anyone sent me a text between late Monday Night and about 2PM on Christmas Day, I never got it.
I've been up in West Hooterville, Wisconsin over the past few days, and the closest thing that they have to internet connectivity out there is the town copy of 'The Book of Norwegian Jokes: Uff-Da Edition'.
It didn't help matters that I own the worst fucking phone ever conceived by beast or man. If there is any justice in the world, the worthless twat who designed the LG EnV will die of complications from a perforated bowel.
GOD, DO I HATE THIS PHONE! --pounding phone into desk--
Anyway, once I got back toward civilization, a message appeared on my phone screen: "12 Missed Messages - Inbox Full - Unable to Retrieve - Messages Deleted".
Fucking worthless phone.
So, if you were one of the people who texted me, I'm not intentionally being a huge X-Mas A-Hole (well, no more so than usual) - I just never got your message.
So to all those who tried to text me some baby Jesus B-Day shit; I say Merry X-Mas and watch out for the Krampus.
4 comments:
A. 'The Book of Norwegian Jokes: Uff-Da Edition' does actually qualify as "the internet".
B. thats what you get with your fancy-ass-phone nonsense. Who buys phones like that anyways...you never get that crap with the free-phone-that-comes-with-the-plan...I mean you don't 'expect' it to work...you didn't pay for it to work...not really...when it does you're happy. Poverty has its upside. and as a side yet related note, cheap vodka w/blueberry jam does not.
I wish I saw this post earlier. When you didn't reply to my text asking whether you wanted the blue or the red Snuggie for Christmas, I assumed that you didn't want one at all. So, I gave them to Devin and Chris.
You lose!
Thank God. I really, really want the sage Snuggie.
Had I responded, I might have had to accept an inferior Snuggie out of politeness.
Oh - don't forget to buy Mario Kart.
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