Friday, December 08, 2006

Stick and Carrot

I spent the day today cramming 2,000 pounds of runny horseshit into a 1 pound sack full of holes. That's right folks, I wrote out a new resume. If any of you academic, business, or pseudo-literate types out there want to give it a good paint job with some red ink, I'd be in your debt. Just shoot an e-mail out to my Gmail account, and I'll forward it out to you.

I feel cheap using up a post begging, so I'm letting you in on a piss-poor secret. At the urging of Ed, I've decided to write one piece of random prose (almost) every day and post it up here on L&E. Blame him for that horseshit. Any prose I write couldn't hope to be so full of fanciful whim as my resume, but should give you all a good daily derisive chortle with your co-workers.
Eat it, bitches.


Kim said...

I like yr writing!

Your resume metaphor, incidentally ("2,000 pound of runny-horse shit into a one pound sack full of holes")was brillant.

Chris B. said...

I have a bunch of suggestions for your resume. I got professional help with mine this last time 'round.

edP said...

You saw a shrink?