The Liar's 10 Favorite Films (For the Time-Being)

Note: I started this post back in April of '08 and never got around to finishing it (yay, me!). I started thinking about it lately and finally decided to rework it and post it. I kept the original list (more or less) intact, fleshed it out, and added 5 'honorable mentions' at the end. Here it is, two years in the making:

This isn't a list of the greatest films I've ever seen. This list is of those films that I just love. Some are truly great - some I just think are great. This is my list of films that I can't get enough of, each one of these films I've watched multiple times and will probably watch numerous more times. I'm sure that I missed a couple of films that should be up here - those ones that were so awesome that I forgot them entirely, but I think that this is a damned good list as it stands.


1) Dr. Strangelove (or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb) - 1964
Hands-down my favorite movie of all-time. Leave it to Stanley Kubrick to craft a jet-black comedy about nuclear war right at the apex of the Cold War. Peter Sellers turns in one of the great performances in the history of celluloid by playing three separate characters flawlessly. George C. Scott, Sterling Hayden, Slim Pickens, Keenan Wynn, and James Earl Jones round out the exemplary cast. This an absolute pitch-perfect film from start to finish.




2) Kamikaze Girls (Shimotsuma Monogatari) - 2004
I LOVE this film - It's like catnip to me. I could watch this film three times in a row and still consider putting it in for a fourth viewing. The tagline for this film was: 'The extraordinary adventures of a Lolita-look aficionado and a tough biker gang chick', but that only scratches the surface of this frenetic blender-ride of a movie. This might not be Akira Kurosawa, but it's my favorite Japanese film.
Note: Just watched this one again last night with Jake & Maria & it's still awesome-as-all-hell.




3) Hedwig and the Angry Inch - 2001
Easily the best transgendered rock-opera of all time. Before this film hit the theaters, I got a free pass to preview this film in DC. I had no idea what it was all about. I just knew that it was a chance to see an indie-film for free, and that was good enough for me. This film hit me upside the head like nothing I'd seen before - Great film, incredible soundtrack, and possibly the most fun movie of the last 20 years.
 




4) Kwaidan - 1965
This film is truly a work of art. Masaki Kobayashi's stunning expressionist stylings make this not so much a a movie, but rather a moving painting of indescribable beauty. This collection of four separate Japanese folk tales is eerie and stunning with incredible visuals and surprising depth. Truly a superb film.







5) The City of Lost Children - 1995
Marc Caro and Jean-Pierre Jeunet create a beautiful Jules Vernesque dystopia punctuated by a wonderful Angelo Badalamenti score. The dreamlike nature of this film lies between the worlds of Caro's Delicatessen and Jeunet's Amélie - A perfect middle-ground for an outstanding film.








6) The Man Who Laughs - 1928
This was one of the last great expressionist silent films directed by Paul Leni. By the late '20s the industry was moving away from the surreal styling of German expressionism toward a more realistic portrayal. Too bad. If you look at the Lon Chaney film of the same year, 'Laugh Clown, Laugh", it's amazing how two films of similar subject matter and released in the same month (April 1928) could be so different. Huge props to William T. for turning me onto this gem.




7) Altered States - 1980
This might not be a great film. Hell, it might not even be a good film, but I love it. Take the script from some forgotten Universal monster film from the '40s, load it up on psychedelics, add the overly verbose hyper-technical dialogue of Paddy Chayefsky, and stir. Not for everyone, but it suits me perfectly.








8) Kung Fu Hustle - 2004
I really wanted to include one of Zhang Yimou's wuxia films (Hero, House of Flying Daggers, Curse of the Golden Flower) on the list, but the more I thought about recent Chinese period dramas, the more I thought about how much I love this film. Sorry Zhang. Roger Ebert described this film as "Jackie Chan and Buster Keaton meet Quentin Tarantino and Bugs Bunny". Yeah, that sounds about right.





9) Santa Sangre - 1989
I saw this movie in its limited US theatrical release back in 1990, and it changed my perception of what film could be. Alejandro Jodorowsky's films led me into the films of Werner Herzog, David Lynch, Luis Buñuel, Kenneth Anger, and countless others. This film still has a lasting hold on me, but it's influence has far exceeded its scope. I just wish that they would release a half-decent DVD of this film (ie: not the R-rated Blockbuster cut, or Chinese bootleg). I'm waiting.




10) The Iron Giant - 1999
Back in 2008 (when I started making this list) I was hard-obsessed with this movie. I was going to bump it, but the picture (left) was just too damned cool. Brad Bird directed this film after his work on the (golden-age) Simpsons and before his reign at Pixar. This is a smart, funny, touching movie that far exceeds expectations. Too bad Warner butt-fucked-up the release and tanked the movie out of the gate. Which left Bird to move on and make a bajillion dollars for Disney. Way to go, guys!




Honorable Mentions:
The Fog of War
Giants & Toys
The Night of the Hunter
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Sullivan's Travels

Indiana Jones and the Palace of the Virgin Fan-Boys

Tonight I decided to catch the midnight showing of the new Indiana Jones flick because: A) I'm a total nerd-loser who has never touched boobies, and B) I don't have a damned place to be tomorrow morning - Suck it you counterrevolutionary wage-slaves of the bourgeoisie.

Since you "look at me, I'm gainfully employed" chumps aren't gonna see the movie until sometime this weekend, Here are a few lies plot-points to tide you over until you get a chance to see it for yourselves:

1) The whole film is played out using Lego figurines (screen shot above).

2) John Williams' musical score has been replaced by instrumental versions of Devo's "Whip It" played with varying intonations.

3) The entire second half of the film turns into a steamy AARP version of a late-night Cinemax soft-core porno featuring Indy and Marion. The only real action unfolds when a boulder rolls out from Marion's uncrossed thighs and chases Indy through the Fantasy Suites Hotel.

4) Jar-Jar Binks' skull figures heavily into the story-line and there are several references throughout to "the great Gungan race".

5) The short before the film is a 15 minute documentary on India narrated by Steven Spielberg extolling the great history and diverse culture of the Indian Republic. Several mentions are made to the fact that they do not, indeed, eat monkey brains, but it is pointed out that they do field a lot of the customer service calls for collection agencies, so if they'd just be cool about "Temple of Doom thing", we'd be willing to look the other way on that later travesty.

6) Short Round (now going by the name of Pol Pot) reappears in the new film and pleads with Indy to join his "Khmer People's Revolutionary Party".

7) Dramatic bare-knuckled boxing match between Henry "Indiana" Jones and Joseph "The Man of Steel" Stalin over the Aleutian Islands. Indy wins, but sustains several severe blows to the head - For the remainder of the film, he refers to Marion as "Adrian".

8) Turns out, Indy's fedora was, in fact, a symbiotic brain parasite who has been controlling his every word and action throughout the entire series.

9) In the end, the Crystal skull turns out to be a cheap forgery, readily available to tourists in Peru for 50 nuevo sols a pop. Indy and Joel Cairo decide to frame-up Wilmer Cook to take the fall for all of the mayhem which has ensued in pursuit of the worthless trinket. Reluctantly, Indy turns Marion over to the authorities for her hand in the death of Miles Archer.

10) Despite drinking from the holy grail at the end of "Last Crusade", Indy is obviously aging and his father has since passed. They explain this incongruity by revealing that there is no God, all of the Judeo-Christian mythos were hokum, and that dark wizards were responsible for all of the miraculous happenings in the first and third films.

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By the way: There's no "stinger" at the end of the film. So you're free to urinate as soon as the credits start to roll (figuratively, of course, unless you're watching the movie on the South-Side; then literally).

Crime (Fighters) & Punisher

2008 looks to be a bumper year for comic book geeks; we've got Iron Man, Speedracer, Hellboy II, another Hulk film, Batman: The Dark Knight, and the long-awaited Watchmen film all set to drop in '08.

Not bad, but the one film that has piqued my interest more than all of those combined is the Punisher: War Zone movie. No, really.Growing up as a kid in the 80s, there was no cooler superhero than the Punisher. He didn't have superpowers, he wasn't some rich weirdo that hung out with little boys, he didn't bother with an alter-ego, and he actually KILLED people... lots of people.
The Punisher was the only comic book I regularly followed in the 1980s. Later on, I got into the Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore, and Frank Miller stuff, but as a kid, Punisher was #1.

For those who don't know, here's the story of the Punisher in a nutshell:
Frank was a Vietnam war-hero. Frank witnessed his family being murdered by the Mafia. Frank went ape-shit crazy, dressed up in body armor, called himself "the Punisher", started killing criminals, took their money to buy guns and explosives, turned around and killed more criminals (repeat).
End of story. He was the perfect Regan-era underwear-pervert.

What kills me is that what should be the easiest comic book to turn into a movie has yielded two ripe turds of films. I mean how fucking hard is it? War-vet goes crazy and starts killing criminals - This ain't fucking rocket-surgery, people! Just watch 'Taxi Driver' three times and put a skull-suit on Travis Bickle. Done.
Well, I'm hoping like hell that they get it right this time. They have Titus Pullo playing the Punisher and it's being directed by the woman who did Green Street Hooligans. I'm cautiously optimistic.

Regardless, I'm sure that it'll be a hell of a lot less disappointing than the Watchmen flick - Bastards.

Tivo Alert

For those of you fortunate enough to possess a DVR, listen up. Tomorrow during the day, TCM is gonna be a freaking jackpot of awesome. All day long they're gonna be playing a bunch of great old B-Horror films, including the superb lost classic, Spider Baby, featuring a teenage Sid Haig decked out in a Little Lord Fauntleroy outfit.

Here's the schedule:

6:45am - The Terror (1963)
A lost soldier discovers a mysterious beauty haunting a half-deserted castle.
Cast: Boris Karloff, Jack Nicholson, Sandra Knight. Dir: Roger Corman. C-79 mins

8:15am - Horror Castle (1963)
A Holocaust survivor tortures women in the dungeons of an ancient castle.
Cast: Rosanna Podesta, Georges Riviere, Christopher Lee. Dir: Antonio Margheriti. C-84 mins

9:45am - The Castle of the Living Dead (1964)
A traveling circus entertains a medieval count who uses them in his bizarre experiments.
Cast: Christopher Lee, Gaia Germani, Donald Sutherland. Dir: Luciano Rici, Lorenzo Sabatini. BW-90 mins

11:30am - The Haunting (1963)
A team of psychic investigators moves into a haunted house that destroys all who live there.
Cast: Julie Harris, Claire Bloom, Russ Tamblyn. Dir: Robert Wise. BW-112 mins

1:30pm - Children Of The Damned (1964)
Space invaders impregnate six women with super-powered offspring.
Cast: Ian Hendry, Alan Badel, Barbara Ferris. Dir: Anton Leader. BW-90 mins

3:00pm - Spider Baby (1968)
Greedy relatives try to repossess the decaying mansion of an inbred Southern family.
Cast: Lon Chaney, Jr., Quinn K. Redeker, Sid Haig. Dir: Jack Hill. BW-84 mins

4:30pm - Die! Die! My Darling! (1965)
A religious fanatic imprisons her late son's sinful fiancee.
Cast: Tallulah Bankhead, Stefanie Powers, Donald Sutherland. Dir: Silvio Narizzano. C-96 mins,

6:15pm - Eye Of The Devil (1967)
A French nobleman deserts his wife because of an ancient family secret.
Cast: David Niven, Deborah Kerr, Donald Pleasence. Dir: J. Lee Thompson. BW-96 mins
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How friggin' awesome is that? For those of you not in the know; TCM is offered on most basic cable packages and shows uncut films without commercial breaks - It's probably my favorite basic-cable channel. You should totally check it out.

Fuck, if you don't have a DVR, just pop in a VHS tape and hit record on SLP as you're leaving for work. If you don't have basic cable, you're shit outta luck.

P.S. Tallulah Bankhead.

The Japanese Citizen Kane

With the writer's strike going hard, I have a word of advice to Hollywood. Just quit. Seriously. Board up the studios, sell all of your equipment to the porno industry, and find another line of work.
Why?
Because Japan has just produced what possibly could be the perfection of the film medium. It's called Machine Girl, and looks like the BEST MOVIE EVER.
Why even try and top this? It can't be done. You'd probably have better luck attempting to manufacture an full-scale replica of the universe. Hollywood, give it up and get ready for your money shot.

Bow to the glory which is Machine Girl:

Fuck Netflix, The Internet Archives Is Where It's At

I like music, I like to read, I like movies, I like free shit... I fucking love the Internet Archives (I.A.) site.

I.A. is a not-for-profit internet "library" collecting public-domain media and making it available for free streaming and download. It is probably the single coolest content site I've ever found yet.

They have everything:
Audio - Including a load of full-length live shows (including a good collection of Minutemen sets).
Web Archives - Searchable websites from the birth of the web (including dead pages).
Texts - Plenty of classic novels, and (even better) an unending collection of obscure antiquated tomes.
Where the I.A. really shines in in the Moving Images section. They have everything from old-tyme educational films, to news, to cartoons, to music videos - Sweet.

The best part is that there's a load of great movies up on the I.A. site (everything from Little Lord Fauntleroy to Triumph of the Will). There's a bunch of great B-movies available, and a lot of great old films. It was really hard to narrow down the list, but these are my top fifteen recommendations:

1) Akira Kurosawa's Roshomon -1950
One of my top 20 favorite films.

2) F.W. Munarau's Nosferatu - 1922
Great "extended" cut of this expressionist masterpiece.

3) Buster Keaton's The General - 1927
The 18th best American-made movie of all-time (according to the American Film Institute).

4) Preston Sturges' The Sin of Harold Diddlebock - 1947
Preston Sturges and Harold Lloyd team up for this "sequel" to The Freshman.

5) Fritz Lang's M - 1931
Everyone loves a happy little film about a serial child-murderer.

6) John Houston's The Battle of San Pietro - 1945
The world would be a much better place if every elected official was forced to watch this movie.

7) Charlie Chaplin's One A.M. - 1916
Chaplin + Booze = Awesome.

8) Alfred Hitchcock's The Man Who Knew Too Much - 1934
Hitchcock's breakout film (the original, not his 1956 remake).

9) George King's Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - 1936
Before you go see the new Tim Burton version this winter, check out this original film adaptation.

10) Salvador Dalí and Luis Buñuel's Un Chien Andalou - 1929
It's not weird-assed nonsense; It's art.

11) W.C. Fields in The Fatal Glass of Beer - 1933
Field's cornball parody of 1930's melodramas. Not his best, but good stuff nonetheless.

12) Johnny Cash in Five Minutes to Live - 1961
The Man in Black as a door-to-door psycho killer menacing lil' Ronnie Howard - What's not to like?

13) Sex Hygiene Millitary Training Film (Directed by John Ford) - 1942
If you go out whorin' you'll get boils the size of Buicks all up on your junk. When that happens, this film could save your life. Bonus: loads 'o' footage of infected penises. NSFW, obviously.

14) Superman in Japoteurs (animated) - 1942
A bunch of the great Max Fleisher toons are available on I.A., but this one is wonderfully offensive.

15) The Little Rascals in Dogs of War (featuring Harold Lloyd) - 1923
I'm just glad I found this here so I didn't have to buy a sub-par Harold Lloyd DVD set just to get this.

P.S. - It's FREE, FREE, FREE!!!
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Update: Due to the overwhelming traffic from this post, the I.A. site has crashed (or possibly due to the new BinLaden video). It should be back up again once the flood dies down.

Not Economically Viable

I can't sleep. It's light out and I don't know whether to pop a Valium, brew a pot of coffee, or both.
I went out drinkin' earlier with one of the old 7DA 40 oz. Crew kids who's out here in DC now. I got home, fell asleep on the couch, woke up a couple of hours later around midnight, watched a movie, went to bed, starred at the ceiling for a couple of hours, gave up, and decided to blog about the movie I watched earlier. Here you go:

I was flipping through the cable channels after 1AM trying to find something to watch while I got ready for bed - Mostly crap and soft-core skin flix. I decided to watch the beginning of "Falling Down" while I finished my nightly routine - I got stuck. I own the DVD and have seen the movie several times before, but every time I start to watch it I get sucked in and just can't stop watching it - It's like catnip for white guys. is a truly brilliant film. It is one of the few films that deals with modern alienation and grown-up angst in a way that doesn't come off as preachy or pretentious. There are a ton of great indie-films that deal with similar subject matter (Taxi Driver, Dead Man, Requiem For a Dream, etc.), but none capture the fragility of sanity so succinctly.
The entire film is about the desolation of everyday life and those that endure and those who don't. The detective (Robert Duvall) has just as much misery and strife in his life as does D-FENS (Michael Douglas), but manages to hold it together. Even the secondary characters are downtrodden caricatures that seem to be holding on to the last strands of sanity.
Douglas portrays the anti-hero perfectly, and you can't help but sympathize with him in his war against the everyday world. There's just something about this movie that plays to the amoral revenge-against-the-world fantasies of the viewer. I'm not sure if that's "good", but it makes for great film.

What amazes me is that such a great movie came from the director of the rubber-nipples-era Batman movies and the writer of the "Car 54, Where are You?" movie. How the fuck did that happen? Or have I just been suckered in by another Hollywood "Death Wish" crap flick that just plays to the base emotions of working-stiff white folks?
You tell me.

Ultimate Screengrab

I've been watching my way through the (excelent) Harold Lloyd box set when I came across this:

(click to enlarge)

How fucking awesome is that? I had to pause the DVD and shoot a picture of the screen. It's from the 1928 feature "Speedy" - Also known as "that one Harold Lloyd film featuring Babe Ruth".
This scene takes place at Coney Island - Apparently the Coney Island of the 1920s was a wonderland of awesomeness featuring some of the most hazardous thrill rides dreamt up in the history of mankind - If I ever get ahold of a time machine for an afternoon, forget about saving Lincoln or stopping Hitler, I'm spending some time at old CI circa 1928. I stand by my decision.
Speaking of Harold Lloyd, Booze Movie Bill did a great review of "High and Dizzy" - Check it out HERE. Now.

Grindhouse Review

Two word review: FUCKING AWESOME!!!

'nuff said.

300 > Awesome

Just saw 300, and I gotta say it's a damn fine film. It followed the Frank Miller graphic novel pretty close to form. The film inserted a decent secondary story line about Leonidas' wife and the local politicians, and there were a few omissions from the comic. Otherwise, it looks like the graphic novel was essentially used as a storyboard for the film (as was with Sin City). Granted, the dialog is a bit stilted, but what do you expect? Miller's prose seemed dead natural in the Spillanesque world of Sin City - not so much in a sword and sandals epic, but all that noise takes a backseat to the saccharine sweet eye-candy visuals.
This sucker was chock full of frenetic comic book over-the-top optical goodness. It was absolutely beautiful, and I'm hoping that studios take notice the success of 300, Sin City, and V for Vendetta and start making more movies based on comic books THAT KEEP THE FUCKING LOOK AND FEEL OF THOSE COMIC BOOKS (I'm holding out high hopes for HBO's Preacher series).

Two ways I ruined the movie for myself ('cuz I'm an idiot):
1) I re-read The Girl's copy of the graphic-novel yesterday, and found myself comparing the movie to the comic all the way through rather than just enjoying it.
I should have waited until afterwards to re-read it, as not to force myself into some weird obsessive comic-geek nitpicking mindset.
2) Just because there is an Irish bar 3 doors down from the theater doesn't mean that I'm obligated to down whiskey and stout for 45 minutes while waiting for the doors to open.
I peed right before I took my seat - by the time that the commercials/coming attractions ended and the feature started I realized that I had to go again. I held onto that piss for 118 goddamned minutes - Not the best way to enjoy a film.

The Girl was the one who was really geeked-up about going to see this one, so no post would be complete without her review of the film:
"Two straight hours of six-packs and banana-hammocks... Fuckin' Sweet!"
Well, there you have it.

Academy Awkward

Okay, that's it.
Does anyone pay attention to fucking awards shows anymore? And if not, why is the only thing that the news idiots keep rambling on about today is Scorsese's fucking Oscar? The only decent film that that bitch has crapped out since the fucking 80's was 'Bringing Out the Dead', and that was "good" at best. Shit, how do you go from 'Taxi Driver', 'Raging Bull', and 'King of Comedy' to chained to a desk cranking out formulaic crap for DiCaprio? Maybe he thinks that DiCaprio is the new Deniro (pause for laughs).
What I'm saying is that his EARLIER films were definitely Oscar-worthy, but the academy has always had it's head firmly planted up its collective ass. Those earlier films were passed-over by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences , and (in my estimate) that's confirmation that they were truly good.

All of the voters are fucking Hollywood insiders, and we all know how great their tastes are (think 'Soul Plane') - Keep in mind, the same guy who green lighted 'Stealth' gets to vote for the best picture. The great majority of films that ever are in serious contention for an Oscar are major studio vanity projects aping the truly influential independent films that came out 5 years before. It's just like the fucking Grammys - Justin Timberlake wins over Johnny Cash ('nuff said).
It's all a big fucking joke - Out of all of the Best Director nominees, they've only gotten it right once in the over last Decade (2004). All you've had to do win Best Actor since '88 is be an A-List actor who plays a character who is mentally ill, disabled, psychopathic, or gay. And don't even get me started on Best Picture - I'm still unholy-pissed that 'How Green was My Valley" beat out 'Citizen Kane" back in '41.

Here's my proposition: Artistic awards should have a 10 year lapse period. That way, the wisdom of retrospect will enable to sort the wheat from the chaff. This is the one instance where the world of professional athletics has gotten it (mostly) right. The Academy should be focusing on movies released back in 1996 - I'd bet that the list of nominees would be jarringly different. Just look at the Best Actress nominees from 2001 - If we had the benefit of time, we wouldn't go around trying to pretend that Halle Berry's ham-fisted "performance" in Monster's Ball (that would make judges from the Daytime Emmys blush in embarrassment) was the best that that year had to offer.

The Man Who Laughs, Clown, Laugh

I got a wild hair, and decided to watch a double-feature (with a six hour intermission for sleep). Late last night I watched 'The Man Who Laughs', and early this morning I woke up and watched 'Laugh, Clown, Laugh' - Both silent films from 1928. Apparently, 1928 was a huge year for fucked-up tortured clown movies.
I've been watching a lot of silent films lately, and couldn't resist watching these two films back-to-back. Bill was kind enough to send me a copy of 'TMWL', and I'd been hesitant to open up My Lon Chaney collection (with 'LCL') until I had a good reason. After watching 'THWL' I had my reason.
Here's the breakdown:

The Man Who Laughs
Directed by Paul Leni, and based on the novel by Victor Hugo.I first became acquainted with the protagonist of this film, Gwynplaine, from James Elroy's book Black Dahlia, wherein a painting of Gwynplaine factors heavily into the storyline. I was intrigued and began to research the character. I was blown away by Hugo's premise.
The basis of this story is that a young son of a defiant nobleman is mutilated under order of King James II as retribution for his father's impudence. The king hires Gypsy surgeons to carve a gaping macabre smile across the child's face, regardless of Gwynplaine's emotion it looks as if he's laughing. The child is abandoned by the Gypsys and, while wandering, finds a blind infant, Dea, in the arms of her dead mother beneath her (presumably) father's gallow. The two orphans find shelter with the philosopher, Ursus (bear), and his wolf, Homo (man).
Flash forward 15 years - Gwynplaine is one of the most celebrated performers in England, and the whole lot of 'em are touring the countryside, performing. The film deals with Gwynplaine's desires for Dea, his shame over his appearance, and his quest for acceptance. Furthermore, within the royal court it is discovered that Gwynplaine is the rightful heir to his father's estate. The royals battle amongst each other wielding this new information as a weapon, all unbeknown to Gwynplaine and his 'family'.
I thoroughly enjoyed this film. This movie was absolutely beautiful, and I found myself pausing the DVD and taking photos of the screen at several points in the movie (probably 'cause I was drinking).

This seems to be Madonna's acting debut. She played the evil Duchess, Josiana:
With a character named 'Homo' in a silent film, you get some pretty awesome placards:
Bonus Fact: Bob Kane used the character of Gwynplaine as inspiration for Batman's nemesis, The Joker. Here's a close-up shot of Gwynplaine from the film:
Laugh, Clown, Laugh
Directed by Herbert Brenon, and based on a play by David Belasco & Tom Cushing.I'm a huge fan of the old Lon Cheney films, and had been wanting to see this one for awhile. I really enjoyed the film and (especially) Chaney's performance, but after watching 'TMWL' it just kinda fell flat. This one's a story of a couple of traveling performers that find an abandoned little girl (Simonetta) and bring her in.
Flash forward 15 years (give or take) - Tito (Cheney) is one of the most celebrated performers in Italy, and the whole lot of 'em are touring through the countryside, performing. The film deals with Tito's desires for Simonetta, his shame over his attraction to the younger girl, and his quest for the acceptance of her love. Yeah, I just cut and pasted the preceding sentences from the earlier review and altered a couple of things, but it fits. While seeking help from a therapist, Tito befriends a Count (who is also smitten with Simonella). Love triangle hijinks/conflicts ensue.

It's amazing that two movies so similar were released in the same year. I guess that's just the way of Hollywood (Deep Impact -vs- Armageddon, Bug's Life -vs- Antz, etc.). They were probably filmed within 5 miles of each other, but 'The Man Who Laughs' had much more of a European feel to it due to Leni's expressionist style. 'TMWL' had a few surprisingly risque scenes, and was much darker in nature when compared to 'LCL'. 'Laugh, Clown, Laugh' had a more refined "Hollywood" feel to it. It was a charming little film, but failed to reach the depth of 'TMWL'.
I think that the bigger issue that these movies address is the sheer volumes of abandoned children floating around in the silent-film era. Hell, within the last week I've watched Harold Lloyd, Charlie Chaplin, and Fritz Lang films that were all littered with transient waifs. Those little bastards must have been EVERYWHERE.
So that this plague doesn't haunt our society once again, please be sure to spay and neuter your children. Thank you for your cooperation.

A Little of Everything and a Lot of Nothing

The Girl's parents were in town this weekend, so we had a lot of "family time" - not bad. Here are the things I did between scamming free meals from her family:

Films:
About Last Night
I Tivoed this a few months back on a whim after I read that this film was an adaptation of the David Mamet play 'Sexual Perversity in Chicago'. I love Mamet's writing, so I figured that I'd give it a shot.
Turns out, I'd seen the movie a looooong time ago, and have since (apparently) subconsciously modeled every relationship I've had on that one (except I tend to date the bitchy roommate type). There's something terribly disconcerting in realizing that your entire romantic history could relate directly to a cheesy 80's movie scripted by Mamet, and starring the likes of Rob Lowe and Jim Belushi.
Well, I'm sure it's just a coincidence.
No, huh?
Dammit.
Dogville
I really like the films of Lars von Trier, but I had some serious reservations about this one. Everyone I had talked to had either LOVED it or HATED it, plus a bunch of anti-american labels had been slapped on this picture by various critics. I Tivoed it and let it sit for a few months before I took the plunge.
Saturday night I had fallen asleep on the couch while watching the World Series, and I woke up a few hours later at 4AM. As you all know, there isn't shit on at 4AM Sunday morning, therefore it was a perfect time to watch a 3 hour long indie-pic staged like a play on a minimal set. Woo-hoo!
At first the bare-bones set was distracting, but after a few scenes, it seemed natural. It was like watching an excellently staged play that I could pause (Hey, everyone stop! I've got to pee again. Thanks).
This was an absolutely incredible movie. See it if you get the chance.
If you don't get a chance to see it, you should, at least, remember the lesson of the story; Poor people are scum, and should be eradicated at all costs (I think that was the moral).

Bicycle:
I finished putting together my new bike, and took it out on the town for the first time this weekend.
The thing with DC is, if you purchase a bicycle it will get stolen if you lock it to anything for longer than 7 minutes. After furnishing half of the degenerates in the DC metro region with sweet-ass retro cruiser bikes, I promised myself that I wouldn't buy another bicycle as long as I lived in this shithole.
Well, I saw a special on Ben's Bargains for a beach-cruiser that cost $80 shipped. I went for it. It was a breeze to assemble, and the biggest chore was stripping off all of the gay-ass decals that it was plastered with. Now, I'm cruising in style (until some hood-rat swipes this one).

Best Buy CD Hunt:
I've become spoiled with the abundant availability of diverse music over the internets (see: the long tail theory).
We stopped by the Best Buy in Wheaton on the way to meet up with The Girl's family up in Olney, MD. I had a list of 7 CDs and 1 DVD that I wanted to pick up, they had (drumroll) none of the items I was looking for. Here's what I wanted:
1) The Proposition DVD
2) Childish Things - James McMurtry
3) Ege Bamyasi - Can
4) The Avalanche: Outtakes & Extras from the Illinois Album - Sufjan Stevens
5) Complete MGM Recordings - Lee Hazlewood
6) All Things to All People - Carpark North
7) The Internationale/Live and Dubious - Billy Bragg
8) Love Their Country - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
Okay, I realize that that's a pretty eclectic list, but most of those are considered "mainstream" releases. I expected BB to have, at least, one of those. In fact, they only had a designated space for two of those artists on the shelves (Sufjan Stevens & Me First and the Gimme Gimmes).
Bah.

Sports:
World Series - I realized this weekend that I just don't give a shit.
I do, however, think that Ronnie Belliard looks like a retarded kid on a swing set every time he goes up to bat and that Scott Spiezio's chin looks like a stripper's crotch, so I guess that I'm pulling for D-Town just so those jokers won't win. Bunch 'o' Pujols.
Football - My heart is still racing from last Monday's Bears game, so everything this week was anticlimactic. The highlight of the day was definitely watching Joe's face as the Bucs nailed the 63 yard field goal to defeat his beloved Eagles.
The Redskins' season is DEAD. Even as tight as the NFC East division is shaping up to be, there is no fucking way the Skins can clench a playoff spot with their upcoming schedule. On the plus side; from here on out, I should be able to get as many free tickets as I want to see Jason Campbell blossom as an NFL quarterback. Gotta love those fair weather fans.

I have a few more things that I was gonna throw on here, but (for the sake of brevity) I've decided to do separate posts on blog updates, my new MP3 player, and a couple of announcements. Look for 'em later this week.