Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Smart, My Ass

Okay, Those stupid fucking whales have navigated their way back out into the ocean. Now the national media can go back to focusing on important issues like gas prices, bears caught up in trees, and Lindsay Lohan.
I'd bet anything that right now those two are getting curbed (reefed?) by a bunch of other whales for dispelling the whole "whales are smart" fallacy.
If that shit went on for any longer, I was ready to personally call in the Japanese whaling fleet to put an end to the whole embarrassing fiasco and send them to a better place - Into the loving mouth of our Lord and Savior, the Shark-Christ.


edP said...

Ok, god vs. god, who wins?

Shark-Christ or Thor?

edP said...

And you've got to give us reasons. Good reasons.

Chris B. said...

Thor, Ed. However, let us not underestimate dynomite in this equation.

DC Liar said...

Okay, Here we go:
Granted, Thor is the all-powerful god of thunder and even has a day named after him (Thursday), but he also is constantly getting bitched by his buddy Loki and has the dark pall of Stan Lee hanging over his legacy.

Shark-Christ is a dead infant fish, but since I'm the one that deified him, I can extol (read: make up) all of his holy powers and virtues.
Did you know that he can shoot super heated plasma from his eyes?
Well, he can!
Plus he's like the size of a friggin' cruiseliner, has teeth made of razor-sharp diamond, and is protected by scales comprised of mil-grade titanium!!!

It's not so easy of a call now, is it?

I think that the victor really depends on the field of battle.
If it's underwater Shark-Christ takes it hands-down. Do you know how freaking hard it is to swing a sledgehammer underwater?
On land Shark-Christ is pretty much useless without his divine jetpacks or holy hammerhead armored cruiser, so I'd have to pick Thor in a squeaker.
In the air it's a toss-up, unless it's raining, then the edge goes to Shark Christ.


tom o said...

over the weekend i was commenting how it was weird being out here where the "local" news consists of lost dekalb it was, um, tornados or something.

i didn't realize it was some big national news item...sorry you all had to endure. i kept saying they needed to actually airlift a school of sharks in the sac river to deal with it.

Anonymous said...


(Sorry for butting in... i'm just an unknown passer-by. But I just couldn't resist.)