Tuesday, May 30, 2006


We rocked it out hard on Sunday at the BBQ on Valley View.

We started at 2PM, and I woke up on a plastic lawn chair sometime in the wee hours of Monday morning. Thankfully, I had the foresight to shelve the camera sometime before dusk. Unfortunately (or fortunately), we only have pics from earlier in the day. I'm sure that some of those damned 'later' pics will surface shortly. If so, I'll make sure to get them up here.

2PM-5PM = Typical BBQ fare. Beer drinkin', food grillin', pellet-gun shootin' wholesomeness.
Food/Beer Breakdown:
- 3 Cases Each of Bud, Bud Light, and Rolling Rock
- Mexican Chorizo
- Bratwurst
- Italian Sausage
- Oriental Chicken
- Indian Yogurt-Curry Chicken
- Jerked Chicken
- Elise's Mellon Salad
- CousCous
- Sauteed Portabella Mushrooms
- Strawberries and Dip
- Assorted Chips
- Various Vegetarian Burgers

5PM-8PM = The BBQ is heading into full-swing. We have a full crowd, the pellet-gun has been replaced by throwing-knives, and everybody is getting their drink on. It is around this time that Elise brings out the Vodka Mojitos & I start pushing the first round of Jello shots.

8PM-10PM = I break out the Sweet Tea & Bourbon, & things get really "spinny". More Jello shots, more beer, more mixed drinks. I start forcing food onto people like an old drunk Jewish grandmother. I hide the throwing knives.

10PM-1AM = The crowd begins to thin out, and the serious drinkers go into overdrive. The liquor is killed, the Jello-shots are killed, the sweet-tea & bourbon is killed, many brain-cells are killed.
(Note: Most of the rest of this is anecdotal, and I remember very little of this period)
I get "huggy" and thoroughly freak out all of my guests. I compensate by picking them up over my shoulder and spinning them around.
We decide to stage a side-show on the back lawn. I start spraying WD-40 into my mouth and spiting fire with the aid of an extra-long citronella candle. On about the 3rd try I hiccup and swallow a bit of fluid. I spend the next 30 minutes puking all over. Oh yeah, I also try to extinguish the candle-on-a-stick by shoving it in my mouth; I burn my tongue something fierce.
A contingent of the guests decide to get the dog drunk. Milo stumbles all over the place and keeps tripping. He falls over backward while trying to poop, and then proceeds to sit on a lit candle. We get him cleaned up and send him inside. Once inside, he barfs pisses all over the kitchen.
All the guests leave. I decide to spend some quality time alone vomiting on the back porch. I then make a heroic attempt to kill the last 12 beers left in the cooler - I end up finishing 1 & 1/2.
I wake up in pain (covered in bug bites and vomit) sometime in the middle of the night. The birds are starting to come out. I decide that they can't be trusted, so I go inside.

-End BBQ-

Everybody feel free to add anything that I missed.
For a few more BBQ pics check out my Flickr Page.
Oh, and for a full pictorial rundown of the pre-BBQ weekend check out Elise's post HERE. Good stuff.

*The Extra 'B' Is For 'Bring Your Own Bullets'


Gundy said...

If nothign else, you got one kick-ass pic out of the weekend. You look like one bad motherfucker!

TheStrangeblue said...

Yo Josh, it's tiring the way you try to portray yourself as the elegant party host. Let's hear what really happened, ok?

TheStrangeblue said...

Dude, do me a favor, my blog's url has changed to http://ccp.uchicago.edu/~dcbradle/blog.htm

thanks love ya bye smack

jes said...

That is one hottness pic of you

Michael K said...

Re:'I Get "Huggy"' The last time I saw you get huggy (maybe the last time I saw you) was at Joey's wedding. I have never felt so much man love in one night. You had been dancing so much you had sweated through your suit and the moist embraces will forever be etched in that part of my brain that also contains memories of "special time" with my uncle Tom.

Lady Di )O( said...

Looks like a rad drunky and dangerous time. I'm sorry I missed it. I'm sorry you woke up outside in the middle of the night. Bug bites?

Shooting lesson in August?


edP said...

Did you ever shoot one of those tiki torches?

DC Liar said...

Re:Did you ever shoot one of those tiki torches?

Not me, but that happened immediately before the air-gun got traded out for the throwing knives.

Nothing 'blowed up'.

The Old Dog said...

That was some A class partying. I thought you wouldn't start drinking lubricants until you were about 60yrs old.

F1.4 said...

Sorry I missed it. Well, maybe not, my last attempt at sptting fire went well until the host of the party decided I should stop. I ended up having to punch him right with a mouth full of gasoline. You ever try fighting with gasoline in your mouth? Not good.