What I find surprising is how little protest there is toward this film compared to the release of 'Last Temptation of Christ' 18 years ago. I haven't read the DVC, but my understanding is that it takes the big J's fantasy sequence from LToC and claims that it truly happened.
I guess that if you put Opie in the director's chair and cast that nice young man from 'Big' in the lead role, everyone seems to be less pissy than if the film is helmed by one of those artsy New York types.
Regardless, I just don't give a wet shit either way.
What has me all riled up is Hollywood's continued abuse of religion's mortal nemesis - science.
This unending attack has been waged since the earliest days of cinema, but since the advent of the Summer blockbuster this skirmish has bloomed into an all-out war. Some simple rules of Science/Physics:
- Not all nuclear scientists, geologists, aeronautical engineers, or quantum physicists are bikini models.
- You can't use the force from one exploding vehicle to blow you onto another.
- If a plane falls off of a cliff, you can't catch up to it by jumping off the cliff fifteen seconds later and "flying" down.
- You can't escape a thermonuclear explosion by jumping into a pond, or draping your Members Only jacket over your head.
- It is impossible to parachute through a waterfall of molten lead.
- You can't flip a car onto the top of a nearby 18 wheeler's trailer by jerking the wheel sharply to the left and engaging the emergency brake.
- Nobody can drill to the center of the Earth, let alone do so in a passenger vehicle.
- If hanging by your fingertips from the top of a skyscraper, you can't effectively fire a bazooka.
- If a loved one is in a helicopter that is shot down by a surface-to-air missile equipped with a military-grade nerve-gas warhead, It is very unlikely that you can bring them back to life by sobbing over their lifeless body.
- Robots, computers, and super-secret stealth fighter jets cannot spontaneously "come to life" and develop autonomous personalities.
- Snakes (Suborder Ophidia) are greatly varied, and can be found in most temperate regions of the world. There are even snakes, in the genus Chrysopelea, that can "fly" (by controlled gliding). However, motherfucking planes are not acceptable habitats for any of the known Ophidiads.
This attack on reason will not relent unless it is met with strong resistance. These maniacs not only want to take our money, but change the established tenets of science.
We need to take a page from the Flanders set and rise up in revolt. We need to storm the streets and unite our voices in outrage against this attack on our core beliefs. We will make those anti-science types pay dearly. Michael Bay's disemboweled viscera will hang for crimes against logic.
If anyone needs me, I'll be at the theater down the street protesting 'M:I:3'.