Wednesday, November 15, 2006

A (Filthy, Filthy) Bill

I was sorting through a bunch of old files today, and rediscovered my favorite piece of legislation that has come across my desk in my 6 years working out here in DC.
I present H.R. 3687:

A BILL

To amend section 1464 of title 18, United States Code, to provide for the punishment of certain profane broadcasts, and for other purposes.

    Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That section 1464 of title 18, United States Code, is amended--
      (1) by inserting `(a)' before `Whoever'; and
      (2) by adding at the end the following:
    `(b) As used in this section, the term `profane', used with respect to language, includes the words `shit', `piss', `fuck', `cunt', `asshole', and the phrases `cock sucker', `mother fucker', and `ass hole', compound use (including hyphenated compounds) of such words and phrases with each other or with other words or phrases, and other grammatical forms of such words and phrases (including verb, adjective, gerund, participle, and infinitive forms).'.

7 comments:

edP said...

If it didn't say HR I'd swear it was written by Sen Orrin Hatch himself, that foul-mouthed son of a bitch!

Lady Di )O( said...

I fucking love this cock-sucking cunt of a bill.

edP said...

Lady Di, are you quoting Lyndon Johnson?

edP said...

You need to use cunt as a gerund.

Steener said...

I'm just so proud that they included all of the grammatical components. Gerunds and participles always get the shaft!

DC Liar said...

Yeah, last thing you want is a 'cocksucker' with a dangling participle.

Queenie:Twirling and Twirling and ... said...

That bill?
They are worried up loosing cunt-trol.