This weekend I was weeding through a bunch of old (pre-DC) computer files when I found this:
I wrote song of great loss & woe
I crawled into a bottle & downed pills by the fist-full
When she left me – It crushed me
It’s the damnedest thing… I can’t even remember her face
Songs of such gravity about a stranger that I’ve all but forgotten
It’s amusing, or sad. I can’t decide
I listen to the mix tape I made for you back then
Those songs still bring back feelings of loss
But it’s an empty loss without any weight
Years later she still tries to keep in touch
I read her letters & throw them away without reply
There’s nothing I have to say, nothing I could write
Give it enough time & even a grudge dies
You can’t lose something you’ve thrown away
She’s a ghost to me now - And I’m the fool for giving her those songs
A string of worn clichés isn’t going to change that
This had to have been written sometime between '95 and '97, when I still was doing music and people were still writing letters. Reading over it, all I'm sure of is that I was loaded when I wrote it.
The thing that's killing me is that I can't even remember who I fucking wrote this about. Looking back, I did all of that shit every time a relationship went South - It could be about almost anybody I had dated up to that point. I can't figure it out for the life of me.
I suppose that's the ultimate punchline.