Sunday, September 23, 2007

Rexional Dysfunction

Grossman, you're cut!

Wrecks just joined Steve Bartman, the 1919 White Sox, and Billy Sianis among Chicago's most hated sports-related figures - with very good reason.
The Cowpokes' undrafted QB (from EIEIU) floated like a butterfly and stung like an upturned hornet nest (yes, I'm mixing sports metaphors and drinks). Our 1st round "savior" moved like continental drift and the only "sting" Rex dolled out was the minor-aneurysm I experienced after his 3rd pick of the evening - It was a fucking embarrassment.If I see that dirty twat on the street, I'm going to town on Mr. Cousin-Fucking-Idjit with a Deer-E-Ere and a big bag of rock-salt.
I'm one of his more lenient critics. The guy is poison to Chicago sports fandom - I said the same thing right after the Superbowl, but now everyone else seems to be on the same page.
Grossie has all of the staying power in Chicago as an Evanston junior-high chess-club member has in Abu Ghraib.

What now? Well, we signed a 5 year contract with Griesse for such an occasion - That's a quick-fix. I say we go after an experienced QB -- I still favor Jake Plummer -- to mentor Orton, and (eventually) a new rookie QB that someday will be our next Larry Rakestraw... um...
We're screwed.


DC Liar said...

Take a long fucking look at that photo.
If you can still get behind that vapid douche, please address any correspondence in defense of Grossman to my excrement c/o:
DC Water and Sewer Authority
Customer Service Department
P.O. Box 97200
Washington, DC 20090

Chris B. said...

I still don't place all the blame on him. He threw one touchdown pass that Berrian boinked. There were 4 turnovers but one was Benson who was actually down - bad call - and that changed the outlook of the game. The others were after it was too late and he was trying to make stuff happen (never good). Bottom line is, if Moose and Berrian can't make basic catches and Benson is anemic, Grossman still looks the fool. Meanwhile, Hass, Bradley and Wolfe sit idle on the sidelines.

Also, we had the rookie QB during the preseason - he looked outstanding. Chris Leak. Remember that.

Michael K said...

And now half the defense is injured. Maybe it's cuz they have to play so fucking much?

Chris: The guy is done. Nobody is gonna back him after that piss poor performance.

DC Liar said...

Consider the following:

Would we have so many defensive injuries if the offensive time of possession wasn't nonexistent?

Would Hester be able to relax (and play better) if he didn't feel like he was Chicago's only hope of scoring?

Would our running backs keep getting stuffed if the opposing defense had to protect against the passing game?

You all know the answers. The guy is killing the whole fucking team.

Prairie Dawg said...

He threw to Berrian? Who would've seen that coming? (not Berrian apparently). Q: Does he throw to anyone else?

And if Mushin ever actually caught a pass thrown his way maybe I'd understand all the respect he gets. Seems based on what a great guy he is to talk to.

And how about that pass protection? How about that running game? Does Kreutz have anything "lovably gruff" to mumble about their p.o.s. line?

Both Ron and Norv can go fuck some ducks back in whatever duck's dillhole they crawled out of!

Dead to me!

edP said...

I have come to see this about Rex. Rex and Benson are the perfect storm here. Benson does not run much to the outside (hence defenses to not give much of a shit about outside containment)...and Rex rarely sprints to the outside unless it is a designed roll out...

Hence the opposing defenses send all sorts of shit right up the middle. This is making the O-line look worse/older than it is and it is also having this effect that Michael is describing, lots of three-and-outs means more time for the defense to be on the field.

Greasy (sp? I don't care) and Orton might be able to pick up the blitz better but can they improvise and get out of the pocket? Can either one force opposing defenses to take the Bears serious outside the tackles? If they can inserting either one of them could make a difference.

I believed the hype about the Bears offense in the pre-season. Man I am an idiot.