Last week I got cute with my picks and got my ass handed to me. This week I'm gonna try to get back on track, but really think that any of this week's games could go either way (with a few exceptions). Historically, it's easier to pick as the season progresses, but this season isn't following any of the rules. It doesn't help that so many quarterbacks are out that a couple of teams showed actual interest in signing Rex Grossman before the trade deadline (but not enough to surrender a 2nd round draft pick) - that's sayin' something. There's so much blood in the water at this point that I'm more interested in potential injuries than game results. It makes for great football, but terrible prognostication.
That, kids, is why you should never bet real money on professional tackle football. Always bet with a check.
Last week's picks: 6/7
Season record: 57/32
Early Sunday Games:
Bills (1-4) over Ravens (4-2)
I always seem to lead off my picks with a turkey, so I don't see why this week should be any different. The Ravens are looking like thrice hammered shit lately, and I was really impressed with the Bills play against the Cowboys a couple of weeks back (except for the part where they up and lost). I think that the Williams have a great shot at an upset this week coming off of their 'bye'. I'm sure that I'll be wrong, but that's how I see it.
Buccaneers (4-2) over Lions (3-2)
Dude, like who would win in a fight between a Lion and a Pirate? I'm just hoping that the Bucs can throw some hurt down on the Lions to soften 'em up for next week's trip to Chicago.
Patriots (6-0) over Dolphins (0-6)
The Pat's first loss this season will be against Miami, but that won't happen until week 16. The Fish are famous (infamous?) for scoring huge upsets on undefeated teams. Remember the Bears game late last season (or the '85 Bears, for that matter)?
Saints (1-4) over Falcons (1-5)
Flood town meets drought town. I'd rather sit through a House Natural Resources Subcommittee on Water and Power hearing than this game.
Giants (4-2) over 49ers (2-3)
Here's how to make this the game of the week:
1) Build a working time-machine.
2) Travel back to 1989.
Skins (3-2) over Cardinals (3-3)
If the Cards keep up with their current streak, expect Rattay (Arizona's starting QB) to go out with injuries sometime before the half. If that happens, there's a good chance that Arizona will be forced to play Tim Hassleback, who they just signed this week. He's the Skins' old back-up QB, brother of Matt, and hubby of the crazy blond chick on The View. It's gonna take yet another Arizona QB injury to give this game an interesting story-line, but I'm thinking that the Cards can do it.
Texans (3-3) over Titans (3-2)
If I thought that das Wunderlicher was gonna be healthy for this one, I'd pick the Titans hands-down. There's a good chance that he'll play, get stuck in the pocket, and fuck his leg up even worse than it is now trying to make some stupid play. I'm not sold on Kerry Collins, so I'm picking the Texicans at home.
Postgame: The end of this game was a genuine barn-burner. Too bad CBS couldn't show it - Instead I got to watch Cower, Sharpe, Brown, and Esiason watching the end of the game and narrating. Fucking lame as hell.
Late Sunday Games:
Jets (1-5) over Bengals (1-4)
No offense -vs- no defense, who will win? More importantly, who cares?
Chiefs (3-3) over Raiders (2-3)
I really want to pick the Raiders at home, but I still haven't picked the Chiefs to win yet this season. Let's see how that goes. This is my way of saying "The Chiefs aren't who I thought they were".
Cowboys (5-1) over Vikings (2-3)
I'm hoping that they both lose, but that ain't gonna happen. I'm gonna be watching this one just to see if Adrian Peterson II (Electric Boogaloo) is really that good, or if the Bears D is really that bad.
Bears (2-4) over Eagles (2-3)
The DC market is getting the Vikes-Boys matchup - Can't say I'm surprised. I'm predicting that the story after this game will be about (additional) injuries. I'm setting the line at '5'. 3 Eagles players hurt, 2 for the Bears.
Postgame: Ron Turner calls plays for 58 minutes of play - Result = 4 field goals. Communications are cut for 2 minutes and Griese is forced to call the plays - Result = Touchdown. Coincidence? I don't think so.
Seahawks (3-3) over Rams (0-6)
The story of the Saint Louis Rams: They stink. The End.
Primetime Sunday Game:
Steelers (4-1) over Broncos (2-3)
It's lucky for the Broncos that the Rockies are in the World Series. It's the only thing keeping the Denver fans from screaming for Mike Shanahan's head.
Monday Night Game:
Colts (5-0) over Jaguars (4-1)
This is gonna be one hell of a game. I like the Colts in this one, but this is gonna be their biggest test of this season (so far).
Correct picks in GREEN
Wrong picks in RED