Thursday, May 11, 2006

Detritus

- I'm So Busy With Work, That I've Dragged The Girl in as Back-Up.
We were working on a mock-up for a client until 11:30 last night. She kicked some serious ass with 'In Design'. The layout fucking rocked.
I got to work this morning and proudly plunked down the final draft. They said: "That's great, now could you re-do it exactly the same using 'Power Point'?"
It was at that point when my head exploded. After cleaning up all the mess from the conference room, I spent the rest of the day trying to build a Bentley out of Yugo parts.

- That Damned Drinky Dago is Driving Me Daffy.
The first thing I saw this morning was the wop sprawled out on the couch like he fell through the fucking roof and landed (dead) on the couch.
The second thing I saw was the crumpled remains of the hard copy from the project we'd been working on all night poking out from underneath his overstuffed backpack.
Must... Kill... Dago.
Actually, the first thing I SMELLED in the morning was a case of whiskey-breath that was causing the varnish to peel off from from the coffee table in front of him.
I go through the daily 'morning drill': Open the windows, light a candle, spray him down with Febreeze... What the hell did I just step in?
On the carpet is a HUGE wad of chewed-up sunflower seeds (Jim Beam Brand - no shit). My only thought is he chipmunked a fist-full of seeds and then passed out before he had the chance to discard the remains, then sometime in the night - PLOP.

Fuck!

1 comment:

Michael K said...

You should build an unnecessarily complicated machine that does your morning routine for you ala Pee Wee's Big Adventure.