Sunday, March 25, 2007

Hell Couch XIV: Drinky Joe Lives

Wow, that was close!
I was convinced that the Drinky Joe page was at its end.

Last month Drinky spent a large chunk of change pimpin' out his room. I took him out to Ikea where he bought a new super-fancy futon with ultra-delux matress, bought a bitchin' storage unit in which to store the debris scattered about his domain, and (at my urging) Wooted up a flat-screen HDTV with integrated DVD player for his room. There's no conceivable reason why he'd still keep to sleeping on the couch, right? Thus, the end of the legend of Drinky Joe.

Well... That motherfucker is still sleeping on my goddamn couch. Keep in mind that 3 days every week he works as a bar-back at a busy bar in DC, so every week our couch smells more and more like stagnant water, garbage juice, and toilet overflow.
Anyway, today was the capper - I woke up to find this:He explained that the reason he was on the couch was that (somehow) he managed to get covered in "fake poop in a can" last night. Great, that's exactly the odor the couch was missing. As an added bonus, he managed to piss all over the bathroom rug.
No court in this nation would convict me of manslaughter, right?

Well, the source of my homicidal rage is the source of your amusement. I've got another FULL page of pics up on the Drinky Joe Flickr site. Plus, there are a bunch of great submissions from the "Tag Drinky Joe" contest on the following page.
Be sure to check 'em out before I shoot him in the face and everyone's fun comes to an end.


edP said...

Once you shoot Drinky or anyone in the face, the real fun begins - at your trial Bill & I promise that you will be sporting more wigs than Phil Spector and Tutankhamen combined. I hope Bruce Cutler likes Bookers because that's how we plan to pay him - every morning before the jury is brought in, one shot for DC two shots for old Brucie. Let's see what the Clutch Cargo-faced Getta Van Susteren has to mumble about this pig circus.

Michael K said...

What the hell is "fake poop in a can?" I have never heard of such a thing. I think it might have been real poop on a drunk.

Kim said...

On Drinky Joe:

That video? His nose looks perfect, at least in the profile shot you give us. Drinky Joe has a perfect nose!
Also, he coughs, but sleeps with his mouth CLOSED. Another bonus for Drinky Joe.

I starting to find some hotness in DJ, until you mentioned he pissed on you floor and "fake poop.

Kim said...

How many typos can you find in that comment?