Thursday, July 20, 2006

Too Much Information, Some Gay-Ass Shit, & A Kick In The Teeth

I can't sleep. I had some grilled scallops wrapped in bacon with a grilled peach and raspberry chutney for dinner, it was really good. Actually it was good at the time, but now I've got the worst case of the squirts that I've encountered in quite a while. I've pooped 6 times in the last 3 hours & am considering purchasing a 3-point harness for my terlet.
I'm not getting to sleep any time soon.

Since I'm up (and fairly loaded) , I'd like to state my way-gay love of the e-pissers; in particular edP. Only in this day and age could 2 people from complete opposite ends of the socio-political spectrum, who see each other about a half dozen times per year, stay so close due to a series of tubes (see: Ted Stevens). Hell, that boy could run for Pope (if he wasn't straight & spreadin' his seed all willy-nilly), whereas I would sell the rights to televise my girlfriend's abortion to the Fox Reality Channel if the price was right (uterine scraper - come on down). It fills me with a warm fuzzy feeling (and should scare everyone else senseless) that this camaraderie could sustain itself between a saint and a sinner from 750 miles across this great nation.

Since I randomly brought up the whole abortion thing, and alluded to it in the previous post, I'm gonna drop a bomb: I'm vehemently pro-choice, but I could give a shit if Roe v. Wade was reversed.
The Roe v. Wade decision is a national decision; if it were to be reversed it would automatically become a states-rights issue. Thankfully, I have always lived (and will always live) in progressive states. I want those backward theocratic states to reap what they sow. I want the southern states to choke on unwanted pregnancies, heightened drop-out rates, and skyrocketing medical costs. Hell, any knocked-up Southern slut with any disposable income could still visit the scenic North, catch a Cubs game, go see the deer romp across a scenic prairie field, and get that pesky implanted zygote scraped from her uterine wall. It's a huge cottage-industry I tell ya. Fuck, maybe we could even get the educated well-off Southern folk to move North and shore up our slipping congressional numbers. Anything that offsets the Northern exodus is fine by me. There's your brochure right there: Would You Rather Have Warm Winters, Or Control Over Your Own Body? It's fucking brilliant.

Well there you go, Tell me that I'm wrong (I just won't listen). EdP is gonna love to hate this post... Blah, Blah, blah.
I would ramble on even more, but I have to poop (yet again), consider that your blessing.
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If y'all need a chaser after that post, I'd highly recommend you check out the Woot podcast from Thursday.

9 comments:

DC Liar said...

[Note to self: Streak Vatican Square with "EdP for Pope" written across my naked ass]

OleKobe said...

i think technically, edP could conceivably be elected Pope. He'd need a new Pope name. I've always liked Polycarp.

This is slightly off subject, but why is it you need a license to fish or hunt Bambi, but you don't need a license to breed?

Uh...never mind.

Jeanz said...

Hope you're feelin' better, li'l poopie.

Heh heh. Now there's a good pope name. Li'l Poopie, or maybe Li'l Popie.

DCL: "The Roe v. Wade decision is a national decision; if it were to be reversed it would automatically become a states-rights issue."

Are you sure about this? Would it not depend on what the grounds for reversal are?

edP said...

Yeah you don't have to be a priest to be Pope/Bishop of Rome. And I like being Pope Polycarp.

Re: the substance of Mr. DC Liar's critique of Roe v. Wade and what it did...it nationalized the issue of abortion once and for all. While I'm not 100% convinced that overturning Roe would open this issue to the sphere of the states (I'm sort of in agreement with Jeanz here) - I think the chance exists.

Look what happened following the appointment of the 2nd (and in my opinion, the lesser of the) Bush SC justices South Dakota sprung into action to test the waters with state abortion restriction leg.

You wanna talk about being in a pickle, I was teaching the religion and the Consitution class while all that shit was going down...three weeks the kids kept trying to have an all SD all the time open discussion. I may blog about the horrific thing I did in response to their pleas.

I'm glad that you're thinking about me when you're drunk with a case of diarrhea and let me send the same love right back at ya.

Gundy said...

[Note to Liar: Let your bowels settle before initiating "Naked Ass" campaign unless you think a brown stream jetting out of the "o" in "for" is an effective way to get EdP into the papacy.]

Seriously, do you really want the population of unloved backwoods bible-bangers to increase? And if you do, could you say so without making so many references to "scraping"?

Did OleKobe just quote Keanu Reeves from the Steve Martin classic Parenthood?

Why do I know that?

DC Liar said...

From Wikipedia:
Roe v. Wade, 410 U.S. 113 (1973)[1], is a landmark United States Supreme Court decision establishing that most laws against abortion violate a constitutional right to privacy, thus overturning all state laws outlawing or restricting abortion...

Since the original case was a states-rights issue, if it were to be overturned the former laws of a state would automatically revert.

edP said...

Back to jeanz point - if it Roe were to be overturned, it would likely be as a result of another Supreme Court Case (hence all the super duper precedent bullshit in the Roberts and Alito confirmation hearings)...

It could automatically revert back to the states, or it could be replaced by a new Supreme Court ruling that rejects another element of Roe but leaves in tact a sort of "national" ruling or precedent...

DC, we are sort of in agreement on whether or not this should be an issue for the states to decide - at least to the extent that we believe in free government and we know that liberty (if such a thing can be found in government) is found where the govt and the people are closest together...

I always felt the best administration I ever lived under (besides Bill Garver's) was the Sparrow regime in DeKalb. I knew he was a drunk because I saw him an arm's length away at the bar every night...and I knew he was there every night because I was there every night

edP said...

I forgot about the Alaska Sen. and his "internet is a bunch of tubes" statement. Whoa

Lady Di )O( said...

Nice link to a song with the lyrics "who's gonna toss my salad" in a post about the squirts, you nasty bitch!

If Ed ran for Pope I'd vote for him.